Happy New Year - 2013 Will Be Better Yet!

The close of a year and the birth of another always gives one time for reflection. We say goodbye to bad habits and with resolve say hello to new ones that will carry us to a better life. We must remember that the root of resolution is RESOLVE. Too often people view resolutions as more of a “I’m going to try to do (a particular task), if it gets too hard, it’s okay if I stop.”  About 7 years ago, I joined a goal group based off of a Flash Forward seminar I took. We encouraged each other to speak in concrete terms. We traded resolution, and replaced it with goal. 

These last two years have been more difficult than I anticipated. I look back to the person I was in early 2010. I was filled with goals and ambition. The brain tumor made it easy to work hard at work and work hard on projects when I got home and only sleep 6.5 hours a night. After surgery, life stopped being so efficient.  I needed lots of sleep to heal. Now, my sleep rhythm has returned to a typical 8-hour night of sleep. I’m losing 1.5 hours of efficiency daily by having a normal sleep pattern. I’m frustrated. Despite this frustration, I’m filled with excitement for the future and my productivity. Goal no longer feels like an appropriate term for the way I have defined 2013.

On my cabinet above my coffee maker, I have my 2013 Assertions. It is a list of daily non-negotiables and below that, long-term objectives. A business wouldn’t enter a new fiscal year without clearly defining how they will meet their goals, and neither should I. By seeing the assertions daily, I am constantly reminded what my objectives are.

The past two years while difficult have been good. I had the misdiagnosis of brain cancer and have over come the anxiety of that and the other misdiagnosis for the need for a second surgery. With those, I went back to my day job and got promoted; ran two half marathons; wrote a commercial for a dating site; wrote an 8-minute short film (still to be shot); & spent lots of time with friends. While I still struggle with PTSD, and need to concentrate on over-all health (who doesn’t), healing is no longer my primary objective.  I can now focus the way I have in years past on setting and achieving my assertions. I accept I am not the same person I was. I cannot weep for the person I lost and I cannot berate myself for not being the person I expected myself to be. We learn from each struggle we face.  I have learned sleep is important and I have learned to I need shake out the chaff of daily life to get to my objective. I have 

written my map and I am excited for what 2013 holds.

Resolutions Are Not For Me

The New Year brings the question, “What is your resolution?” I’m inclined to say, “F* that." Resolutions, it seems have set us up for failure. If they work for you great, but too often we think of resolutions as a wish. It is my firm belief that this is why the San Diego Marathon is so popular— it is 18 weeks after New Year’s Day…. The length of most training schedules. If a resolution helps one begin an active lifestyle, I am not going to fault anyone, but I think we need to think of small shifts if we really wish to make an internal and lasting change. A resolution is often so big and grandiose that we either lack the ability to accomplish it or once accomplished we have a one and done attitude.

I do not want to be a one and done with anything I do.  Often I find myself speaking in terms of “my first marathon.” To date, IT’S MY ONLY MARATHON. Did I want to die at mile 20? Sure, but I want to do another one… I just put doing a marathon on my post surgery “Life’s To Do List,” but I didn’t make a resolution to do it. I want so much more, and I’m convinced that many want more for themselves too. We put so much weight and importance in the resolution, it offers little grace to fail and have setbacks.

The New Year shouldn’t be our only time for rebirth and reinvention. We have the ability to reinvent ourselves and/or tweak ourselves at anytime. We can engineer and design our lives for the greater good- We were designed to be perfect and even though we may have flaws in our own eyes, we are still perfect in the eyes of God, our Father.

When people ask me if I have made any resolutions, I simply say, “no.” This “no” is followed by an elaborate list of goals I set in motion for myself to accomplish in 2012. Included in the list is to lose the “tumor weight” and to run two half-marathons. Despite setbacks of being sick after Thanksgiving and indulging in revelry during the holidays, I reignited my training schedule for the February 19 half marathon upon returning to California after the holidays.

Last Saturday my running buddy and I had our first run it what seems like forever. We pushed each other for speed and distance. I am truly indebted to him. I have been lacking speed and we just kept going- jabbering at each other the whole way. Sunday, I cross-trained riding my bike. This is a HUGE accomplishment. I feel like I can say now that I am more of a runner because I CORSS TRAIN.  It wasn’t far, and I can run a heck of a lot faster, but considering I couldn’t ride my damn bike a year ago, to be able to ride 3 miles in the neighborhood felt good.

I wasn't able to find a picture of the
Chandler Blvd in my neighborhood...
Here is another well-known Chandler.

I feel like I’m finally getting a handle on my new position at work and I was able to throw down 4 miles before heading to the office. I wasn’t a huge fan of the route I chose and some portions were precarious to run on. I did run past my neurosurgeon’s office. As much of a joke as it was the first time I ran past his office… psychologically it is the tip of the hat I crave while on my mid-distance runs. Without his steady hand and care I would not be thriving as well as I am.

Resolutions? No, they’re not for me. I have to think in terms of backdating to race day… backdating to shoot day  (for my short). I haven’t resolved to do anything. I simply have goals and a to-do list I need to accomplish.  Two roads diverged in a wood. I took the one without resolutions, and that has made all the difference.