A mark of age is the accumulation of experiences that make
you understand others better. Some
call this empathy. I always considered myself empathetic, but it wasn’t until
my brain surgery that I truly became empathetic. I quickly realized we all have
challenges (time, financial, health…) and we’re all in a state of recovery (recovering
from a medical crisis, getting over heart-break, dealing with addiction…). While
challenging, hopefully, we handle our circumstances with energy that keeps us
moving forward.
Spring brought hurdles: The short film I was in development on
received a note that forced unforeseen rewrites and consequently push back the shooting
schedule. In part, the short was my rationale for not putting a race on the
books. Time to run and create became further illusive when I booked a big
freelance job working on a book trailer. I love freelancing, but with the
longer than 8 hour day and unpredictable hours, adds scheduling challenges.
Despite the frustration, I love it; this is a lifestyle I’ve built for myself.
I’m excited about living and probably have gone a little
overboard at the buffet of life: Day job, freelancing, and I have a love affair
with ballroom dancing. It has
given me a mental and physical challenge that I haven’t had since my childhood
when I was taking physical therapy in addition to the regular elementary school
curriculum. I might not be running 40+ miles a week like I did while marathon
training, but I’m getting in 2+ hours of cardio in 3-5 times a week running or
dancing. The dancing is building synapses, mending shaky confidence and helping
tremendously with PTSD. There are days are that are easier than others. Some
days, I’m near tears. One instructor pointed out that I look too safe when I
dance. It’s true, but with the recognition of this, it helps me let go and just
enjoy the music. Away from the dance floor, I try to visualize (like an Olympic
athlete) executing the moves perfectly and then work on the kinks with the pros
at the studio.
My first challenge came April 6 with a pro-am performance. I
forgot how much I loved performing. The high is similar to the excitement that
I got with acting— I couldn’t sleep for days. But, dancing is a whole new way
of expressing myself that I never experienced. I loved performing so much, I
signed up for the studio’s recital at the end of May. (One of my studio
teachers convinced me to do another routine.)
Running another endurance race is gnawing at me. I don’t
know if I want to set out to PR, but getting another goal on the books feels
like the right thing to do. I’m currently looking at November races when I’ll
be past my now-annual MRI and beyond the fall wedding season. In the mean time,
the cross-training continues at LA Ballroom Studio.
