Competitive Cross Training in the Ballroom

Last week was awesome! I was present in every difficult and easy moment, enjoying it all. It was a state of training, friends, performance and competition.

I love performing. Aside from the several showcases I’ve done since taking up ballroom in January 2013, I haven’t had a scrutinized performance since I did standup comedy in 2008. 

The Emerald Ball Competition is one of the biggest ballroom competitions in the country. Preparing for it was a physical challenge and I knew it would be a big mental challenge. Big challenges call for big guns. I broke out the CD my hypnotherapist, Brennan Smith, made for me in 2008 to have a first successful comedy set. I mentally adjusted the comedy-specific suggestions to a ballroom competition. I had one last listen before driving to the South Bay to spend the night with running friends so I could sleep in until 4:30am for my 6:15am hair and makeup appointment.

All the comp prep was similar to race prep. Friends. Food/Fuel. Bed (at a reasonable time). Like usual, I set several alarms and triple checked them, convinced something would go wrong. I changed only one thing: I put my own sheets on the bed, so the ballroom-dark spray tan I was rocking wouldn’t come off on their sheets. I woke up several times in the night (like normal), convinced it was 4:30am and I had to go get my hair and makeup done.  All of a sudden, I heard an alarm that wasn’t mine.

Holy smokes!

Thank goodness, the husband is the kind of guy that wants to walk a lady to her car. He set an alarm so he could wake up and escort me out.

I prep as quickly as I can.

I forgot I brought breakfast and went out to find food.

Foraging for food at 5am is not an easy task, and if you’ve stayed away from fast food for years, you’ll be very disappointed. I eventually found something and modified it enough, (asking for no bacon and throwing out the bread) and made something reasonably palatable. More importantly, there was coffee.

Hair and makeup was going to be at LeNique, the dancewear shop where I (and so many dancers) get their dresses. It was so early, there was even parking by the Culver City Steps, which never happens. I was breathing easy. Jim (my coach)and I were going to meet at 8:30 and my first heat wasn’t until 11. Endurance racing mentality wins out again. Biggest difference. You need hair and makeup for a ballroom dance performance.

The hair and makeup Snow Urbin gave me was spectacular. I rarely feel super girly, but Snow made me feel the most girly I’ve ever felt. The amazing thing is she did it all in an hour.

I changed into my dress so that way I could jump out of my car and run into the ballroom. I met Jim, my instructor and the other dancer who was competing. 

The ballroom was not intimidating. I had been there before, last year supporting friends.

Besides, I like preforming. It’s easier than standup. And, it’s certainly easier than walking from your hospital room to a gurney to get wheeled to brain surgery.

My heats came up. Pre-Bronze Rhumba, Swing, Salsa... quickly followed by Newcomer Rhumba, Swing, Salsa. There were other styles peppered in, so it gave me time to relax and work on dance combinations. The bonus is my ankles didn’t get tired because I’m dancing in heals that are .5” taller than what I normally do.

I ultimately finished with two 2nds in Pre-Bronze Rhumba and Swing. A 1^st in Pre-Bronze Salsa.  And, firsts across the board for Newcomer Rhumba, Swing and Salsa. 

I was happy with how I did, but naturally, I want to do better. There’s always room for improvement, with everything. I like chasing that next P.R. (in whatever it may be).  So while working to get in marathon shape, I’m now working towards being able to do more styles without my ankles giving out while really getting my arms and hips to move.

I took Wednesday off, and resumed workouts on Thursday. Friday became my long run day since I had plans with a friend Saturday morning.

 How else does one cap off a week of being one of their most girly? A little boxing and kickboxing at LAKO. Between the weight training and running I’ve been doing for the past month, I didn’t die. And, the bonus is that the ballroom dance adds a great element of stability and hip action.  I was so excited, I tweeted out that I felt like Paige VanZant. As of this post, Paige is a UFC fighter and on this seasons Dancing With the Stars. I was excited to have this commonality with a supreme athlete. I didn’t expect her to respond.

Yes, it was a good week. Now, to jump back into a training schedule and add hills so I can have a successful trail half marathon this fall. I feel like more and more I’m stepping into my athletic prime.

Back In It

I'm officially back in the game.

After struggling to make a commitment to myself and my over-all health, I've reached the point everyone reaches in training. It's the point where training becomes nonnegotiable. I'm not waiting for the mood to strike me or find time to train; I'm training.

The two weeks of lumbering out of bed to go run or lift weights has paid off. It could be the decreasing numbers on the scale or the tone I'm seeing. It might be the trail half marathon (with 5,000 feet of elevation gain) that I'm terrified to sign up for, but my friends keep telling me I can do. It might be my first dance competition on Tuesday or other personal (secret) goals I've set for myself. Whatever it is, I'll take it. I couldn't recreate the feelings from December that set me on the first path to health, but this one is so strong, I don't see it going away.

I'm excited to see/feel my strong legs carry me over the miles and on the dance floor. I like seeing the waist creep back in and feel the extra fabric on my dress that wasn't there when I purchased it. I have new goals set and a new mission.

Today while my marathon brain wanted to do my typical "Saturday Long Run," the logical dancer side of me pipped in and said, "Slow down. Don't tire out those leg muscles for the sake of mileage." And, so, I walked a brisk two miles and will remain focused on my immediate goal of the dance competition. I'll continue to stretch out to keep muscles limber while doing other exercises to work on form and patterns.

 Apparently, while getting back into Marathon Shape, I've become a dancer. The other night, while celebrating a friend and her new career path, she told people I was a competitive ballroom dancer!

Reignited Motivation

Two days in a row! Two miles logged each day. I feel great.

I won’t kid you… Day two the first half mile was rough, really rough. But, I pushed myself to dig down to the last time I was here and remember that I pushed through painful miles before. It’s sill a matter of cardiovascular fortitude and not liking the discomfort. But remarkably, I found a nice comfortable and natural pace. worked through it, slowed my pace, but kept pushing with the running. I know I have more runs like this ahead of me. Those dreaded runs where I want to stop, but if I want to get back into Marathon Shape, I have to keep pushing. Ten miles is my goal it is my favorite long run distance with friends. But once I get there, how fast do I want to run it? I’m competitive with myself, so naturally, I’ll want to run it faster each time. Right now, I’m concentrating on a weekly goal of 15 miles or more. And, in this moment, I’m feeling Greeaaaaat! I was going to do some quick abs after the run. (In the winter I found some great yoga abs and I’m using it again.) I’m feeling so good, ab work requires more than just dropping to all fours to do Dynamic Down Dog or Step Out Planks. No sir, didn’t keep it quiet. I found my best high octane sports club music and cranked it!

Two days in a row of running and I’ve already logged two miles for this week.  I’m going to keep the trend going. I found my mojo. Maybe, it’s from gnashing it out in keystrokes and a few painful runs. Maybe it’s the ballroom dance competition at the end of April. And just maybe, it's from the new conversations and self reflection to create a new perfect storm of success and conviction. Now, the trick is to hang on to it and not get in my own way.

But everyone's doing it.

I did it! I did a cleanse. Now, I can say I'm an official Angeleno. Living/working in the city it seems like everyone is on a cleanse or has done a cleanse. You compare notes, talk about how long you did it, benefits of cleansing etc. Friends were concerned about a completely liquid and gave me alternate modalities. I combined what my old roommate and trainer suggested along with the Clementine Cleanse. I stuck to the exercise method laid out by roommate/trainer and leaned up. I was happy with the results, but less happy with the month-long diet after.

I’m struggling with that diet. I have more slips than successes. In general, I do better when I’m given suggestions for success rather than a strict diet. The strict diet makes me like an obstinate child. I'm sad... AND I know a chocolate chip cookie recipe by heart. Ok, I'll make a quick half-batch. This is no way to get to my rhythm skinny.* (Rhythm skinny, a term I've given ballroom dancers who do Latin styles in skimpy outfits.) One friend delicately pointed out, "Rhythm Skinny"was a goal in the beginning of the summer. The gentle reminder helped me reframe that I was trying these limited diets for myself rather than doing it for society or someone else. But, with heartache that is too deep to describe for a fitness & exercise blog, staying on track and honoring my original goal has been more difficult, especially when I know the chlorate chip cookie recipe by heart. Besides, dieting is no fun. My family doesn’t diet well. We do best eating sensibly and the exercising. I’d rather do that. Focus on physical things I like to do, rather than deprivation.

Exercising and eating while working for yourself is tough. I was pumped about producing a horror short with a very talented director. But, since he didn’t feel comfortable signing a contract guaranteeing me pay, I’m walking away.  I can work for myself, investing time in my own projects and have a better Return On Investment of time. In exciting news, an oncologist I’ve worked with approached me to help build his neurogenetics center, so when posed with the question: Would you rather produce a horror short or help find a cure for cancer, my answer will always be: Help find a cure for cancer.

The next couple months will be busy. October has 2 weddings and at the end of the month I have my dance showcase where my routine is nearly full bronze with some silver patterns thrown in. I have a 10k in November and then holiday races. With the new projects and a wonderful relationship coming to an end, my heart and mind are all over the place. I’ve been using the Hal Higdon off and on, but I needed a better focus. I’m nearly starting from square one again. It seemed appropriate to bring out the big guns and use the training schedule that was specifically designed for me by my first coach. The early miles are short, but he has lots of cross training built in.  (The cross-training will be great for ballroom dance and/or weights.) While Ryan had to move to MSP for work, I’m loving using this. I feel like I have him looking over my shoulder. This with a modified diet program from my former roommate and Italian trainer, I feel rejuvenated. Everything will have to be recalibrate. I'll have to remind myself while it's okay to be sad, sugar will not be the million dollar pill to make everything okay. 

Highs and Lows of Summer Training

The trouble with summer in Los Angeles is that it’s hot and sunny. Prior to the miserable heat we got in mid to late August,  I’ve was  gaining training success, measured by consistency and endurance. While I reviled in my success and increasing stamina, after each workout I swore to myself I would write about my running high when I got home. I got preoccupied when I got home. With another month between posts, again I failed.   And it seems that's how I've lived most of my summer. Riding the highs and lows of successes and failures. It felt completely out of my control.  There have been days where I can't wait to get out of bed, waking before my alarm clock and getting to the park to throw some miles down. There have been days where despair gripped me and all I wanted to do was hit snooze. 

Despite depression and sadness lurking in the background there have been more days of happiness than anxiety I won't be able to get "it" right, whatever "it" is.  
I had a short-term Italian roommate during the summer. He is an actor and personal trainer and we talked about cooking and the entertainment industry. Even though he has many training certificates, I never explained how I’ve been working to get myself into Marathon Shape. That just seemed too personal.  

He was a night owl and usually asleep when I was leaving to go on my morning run. Reflecting on the shorter runs I did when I first started endurance running, I focused on these. It seemed silly to drive 10 minutes to go to the park to go for a 1.5-2 mile run, but this is the same park where I’ve done most of my training. My feet and soul understand the packed dirt and the turns.   

The morning people are very different than the evening-after-work-runners. They engage and encourage. One particular morning sticks in my mind. I had done my run and stretch and now working on my Rhumba walks. Since I was engaging different muscles and focusing more on balance and core, I was using a chain link fence as a guide in case I started to tumble. While I focused on posture and not losing balance, a barefoot runner (a little younger than my dad) engaged me in conversation.  We talked about the passion for running, family etc.  

The nice thing about the running community is that your community is always expanding. Our schedules didn’t always coincide and truthfully, there were days I didn’t sleep well and had to sleep in ‘til 7am and by then, it was too hot to run. On one of the days where we were exercising at the same time, he waved me over and introduced me to a tattooed runner. In turn the tattooed runner offered to run a lap with me if I wanted company.  Now, I had two new running friends.  

On one of these running days I was doing a short run and the barefoot runner asked me if I did 2x2s. I confessed that I didn’t because I hate 200 repeats. He invited me to run one with him. Not wanting to offend a new friend, I did a 200 with him and as I did my cool down, I thought, well, that wasn’t so bad. And I remembered that when I try something new, it’s never easy the first couple times, I just need to stick with it.  

August heat has settled in again, and I continued to talk with my roommate about his training, eating regimen and the benefits of fasting. He’s back in Italy now, but from this distance he offered to monitor me in a controlled week-long fast whenever I wanted. The fasting I am not worried about as there are plenty of cultures that using fasting in religious practices. My roommate turned trainer and I discussed the best time to start the program and what he'll permit me to do. Walking. Twenty minutes a day, that's it.  Once I’m done with this, I can start training again. I have a dance showcase in October and even found a fall 10k I want to do.  While continuing to develop other projects with my partner, I'm also producing a horror short. Am I taking on too much? Possibly. But that’s what I do. I have goals. A lot of goals. Besides, the man I was dating has to move for work and the practicality of a multi-continent relationship for 3 years is grim. The additional challenges will help pre-occupy my mind. As comfortable as I am internalizing things and staying in my head-space, there isn’t a better outlet than exercise.  

And while I struggle with staying active and staying with a training schedule while building a career, one thing is for sure: While I may not be in marathon shape, I am at my most fit and feel more like my family than I ever now that I am getting (physical) balance and need to be active I never had. 

The Running Place

I got out of my car at the Sherman Oaks/Van Nuys Park like it was nothing. I didn’t expect anything miraculous. I’m undertrained and I have been struggling with my runs.  I keep meaning to print out a new Hal Higdon training schedule. I keep meaning to sign up for a new race to give me something to push for. I have friends running Boston, Big Sur… running. They have races on the books.  I am pushing myself with the business I launched with my producing partner, keep pushing myself with ballroom dancing… to understand Cuban motion, isolation, relaxing my shoulders et cetera. I have been terrible about running. I didn’t expect anything special about my run.

As soon as my feet hit the packed dirt, it was like I was home. This is the place where I logged all those short 3 mile runs during my first marathon training. This is where I did my first 5 mile run and this is the place that I ran with family at my side during my brain surgery rehabilitation. 

I love this place.

And no matter how tired I get, this place, “The Running Place” all you have to do is get to the next turn, the next light post, the next water fountain before you give yourself another goal to strive for. Unlike road running, I wasn’t coming up with excuses to stop, I just kept going. If I got tired, I slowed my pace. These early runs I’ve run without a watch. I will continue to run without a watch for the next couple weeks.

I don’t have a race on the books. I’m simply running for the joy of running. To supplement with days I don’t dance. 

I still have the goal to get into Marathon Shape, but having cardiovascular strength supersedes everything.

This place, is home. I will be printing out the Hal Higdon training schedule to put on my fridge. I will do a modified week one until I am ready to plunge feet first into a training schedule.

Dancing - Because I Can!

"From the oldest of times, people danced for a number of reasons. They danced in prayer... or so that their crops would be plentiful... or so their hunt would be good. And they danced to stay physically fit... and show their community spirit. And they danced to celebrate." Ren, Footloose

A Jive Fusion to Footloose
choreographed by Matthew Patrick.

When I was in Kindergarten, I was sick every Thursday. (Thursday was gym.) Nobody bought into this malarkey and my mom and teacher soon made the connection I did not want to go to gym. Due to poor gross motor, at the age of 8, I started taking Physical Therapy and continued ‘til I graduated primary school. Being able to do simple things like balance on one foot, toss a beanbag into a bucket or keep up with the other kids was difficult. After my cerebellur brain tumor was successfully removed (December 2010) and my brain regained a more appropriate shape, things got easier. I made a “TO DO” list and included “Become a better dancer.” I started taking lessons and fell in love with ballroom dancing. Now, I am dancing to celebrate.

I’ve never felt this good in my entire life. Yes, becoming a better dancer was on there, but it was a vague and amorphous goal. I did not expect my learning would include: Waltz, Tango, Foxtrot, Jive, Swing, Bachata, Salsa, Hustle, Rhuma, Cha-Cha…. And the list continues to grow.

Jim Clark and me, just before our pro-am
competition in Smooth.

I started ballroom dancing in January 2014. All my instructors had infinite patience. I spent many hours with Matthew Patrick, my first instructor. I saw him so much, if you looked at my calendar, you'd think we were dating. I had private lessons and then group classes and more private lessons where I could review what I learned in the group class. We were also working towards our performance of a jive fusion to Kenny Loggins’s Footloose on April 6. While he was attending a conservatory, Matthew Patrick took some time off so we could do a reprise of the performance in May. That same day I also did a pro-am Fossee style number with Miranda Eldridge to "All that Jazz" from Chicago. And during all this I started working with Jim Clark. He understood the weakness of gross motor, continued balance troubles and difficulties of overcoming a brain trauma.  He worked with me to build more strength and stamina with dancing. He suggested that we compete in the upcoming pro-am competition that between several studios in the San Fernando Valley. I was hesitant, but really wanted to do it. I confided these hopes and fears with yoga instructor, Laura Haug of Yoga Blend. She told me that if I had any interest in doing it, I should do it because I wouldn't want to look back and regret I didn't try this scary thing. Jim and I had a solid partnership and he continued to push me towards not just knowing key moves in begining bronze level, but to execute them with confidence and strength.  In July 2014, we competed. It's something I don't regret and now in addition to getting another marathon on the books, I want to add competitive ballroom dancing. As much as I loved dancing jive fusion and the rhythm dances, working towards this new competitive level of competing in American Smooth quickly had my heart, especially the Foxtrot.

Dancing has been one of those things I wanted to do, but never expected it would enhance my life so much or be so important… from the first performance on April 6 to the team match in July to continuing with a curriculum of working on building core strength, balance and right down to tendon strength. The emotional strength I have gained is something I did not anticipate. (Although, this seems true with many of us- we set out to achieve one goal and in the process earn something else.)

Miranda Eldridge and me dancing
to "All that Jazz."

I wanted to write more about the experience closer to it, but free time was devoted to dancing or running or writing…. Sitting down to intellectually write about all the emotions that come from  not only excelling in things you struggled with most of your life, but dealing with the ongoing PTSD, was not time I could commit.  I needed to use that "free time" and emotional space to physically make my body understand what it was learning while continuing to emotionally deal with being in positions such as the hammerlock or rotating between partners in group classes. Some of the later has proved and continues to be a larger struggle.

"From the oldest of times, people danced for a number of reasons…"

I will continue to dance. I cannot stop. The better I get the more I want to do it. To show off, to get better…. A better line, a better lift, better hip movement.  The more I do it, the more I understand how to move my body and be comfortable in me. It has not only given me physical strength and fortitude with confidence, it has given me emotional confidence in how I carry myself.