Sharing A Tradition

You feel a lot of things on a run. You literally might waiting for your body to get warm before you can pour on more effort. You could be anxious because you’re getting to that portion of your training course you don’t like. Thoughts may wander or there could be extreme focus on breath, posture and arms. For me, the longer a run gets, the more varied (and sometimes wild) my thoughts become.

Author, Haruki Marakami observed, “The thoughts that occur to me while I’m running are like clouds in the sky. Clouds of all different sizes. They come and they go, while the sky remains the same sky always. The clouds are mere guests in the sky that pass away and vanish, leaving behind the sky.”

And that is what happened when I was on mile 4.25 of a four-mile run that became five miles.

Today was my ideal running weather. Sixty-six, overcast and a light drizzle. My intent was to get out extra early and conquer the hills that ate me alive two weeks ago. But, before I knew it, I was driving to The Encino Golf Course and Recreation Center. I love this place. This is where I overcame my fear of double-digit runs and where I made life-long friends.

In January, I started Gretchen Rubin’s Happiness Project. It’s helped me set tangible monthly goals, with the idea to keep the previous month's goal and add a new goal(s) the next month. Naturally, increasing weekly mileage each month was a goal I set in January. Another theme she tackles is “Try Something New.” With a new commute, I was going to read more, and I was going to achieve this using audio books. When I was at the library, perusing shelves of potential books “Sally Ride: America's First Woman in Space,” leapt out at me. I have no interest in space. 

“Try Something New.”

Being of a child of the 1980’s, of course I knew who she was. She was a hero to my teachers and being contemporary, we were strongly encouraged to do a book report on her. I knew she was the first American woman in space. That’s all I knew. When I picked up the CDI didn’t know what I’d find. I loved the book. And now, I love Sally Ride. I learned a lot of things, among them, she grew up in Encino, California, the very city where I did my first double-digit run. She is far beyond and more important than being the first woman in space.

Fitness and her endurance was quietly woven through the book. Running, was something she did well and it allowed her to do many of the physical things she did, among them, be a nationally ranked tennis player.

When I drove to The Encino Golf Course and Recreation Center I did not have Sally Ride on my mind. I was thinking about my mileage and the connection to friends.

I had four miles on my training schedule. I ran around the man-made lake looking at waterfowl and smiling at runners that passed. Then I turned to the familiar interior loop. I passed the golf clubhouse, the spot where Team and Training meets, through the area where there is exercise equipment and then a left to get the last mile plus done. It is on the backside of that course, along the over-grown area of the L.A. River, I thought of Sally Ride.

My soul started vibrating. I don’t like comparing myself to other people and don’t make a practice of it. I always try to do better than my best or do better than that goal I think I should be doing (even if that goal is realistically several years off). And, while I don’t like comparing myself to other people, in that moment, Sally Ride was on my mind.

She ran this course. I’m working to get back into Marathon Shape and running the same routes that Sally Ride ran! A unique run for sure. I focused on friends, posture, breath and then Sally Ride.

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Highs and Lows of Summer Training

The trouble with summer in Los Angeles is that it’s hot and sunny. Prior to the miserable heat we got in mid to late August,  I’ve was  gaining training success, measured by consistency and endurance. While I reviled in my success and increasing stamina, after each workout I swore to myself I would write about my running high when I got home. I got preoccupied when I got home. With another month between posts, again I failed.   And it seems that's how I've lived most of my summer. Riding the highs and lows of successes and failures. It felt completely out of my control.  There have been days where I can't wait to get out of bed, waking before my alarm clock and getting to the park to throw some miles down. There have been days where despair gripped me and all I wanted to do was hit snooze. 

Despite depression and sadness lurking in the background there have been more days of happiness than anxiety I won't be able to get "it" right, whatever "it" is.  
I had a short-term Italian roommate during the summer. He is an actor and personal trainer and we talked about cooking and the entertainment industry. Even though he has many training certificates, I never explained how I’ve been working to get myself into Marathon Shape. That just seemed too personal.  

He was a night owl and usually asleep when I was leaving to go on my morning run. Reflecting on the shorter runs I did when I first started endurance running, I focused on these. It seemed silly to drive 10 minutes to go to the park to go for a 1.5-2 mile run, but this is the same park where I’ve done most of my training. My feet and soul understand the packed dirt and the turns.   

The morning people are very different than the evening-after-work-runners. They engage and encourage. One particular morning sticks in my mind. I had done my run and stretch and now working on my Rhumba walks. Since I was engaging different muscles and focusing more on balance and core, I was using a chain link fence as a guide in case I started to tumble. While I focused on posture and not losing balance, a barefoot runner (a little younger than my dad) engaged me in conversation.  We talked about the passion for running, family etc.  

The nice thing about the running community is that your community is always expanding. Our schedules didn’t always coincide and truthfully, there were days I didn’t sleep well and had to sleep in ‘til 7am and by then, it was too hot to run. On one of the days where we were exercising at the same time, he waved me over and introduced me to a tattooed runner. In turn the tattooed runner offered to run a lap with me if I wanted company.  Now, I had two new running friends.  

On one of these running days I was doing a short run and the barefoot runner asked me if I did 2x2s. I confessed that I didn’t because I hate 200 repeats. He invited me to run one with him. Not wanting to offend a new friend, I did a 200 with him and as I did my cool down, I thought, well, that wasn’t so bad. And I remembered that when I try something new, it’s never easy the first couple times, I just need to stick with it.  

August heat has settled in again, and I continued to talk with my roommate about his training, eating regimen and the benefits of fasting. He’s back in Italy now, but from this distance he offered to monitor me in a controlled week-long fast whenever I wanted. The fasting I am not worried about as there are plenty of cultures that using fasting in religious practices. My roommate turned trainer and I discussed the best time to start the program and what he'll permit me to do. Walking. Twenty minutes a day, that's it.  Once I’m done with this, I can start training again. I have a dance showcase in October and even found a fall 10k I want to do.  While continuing to develop other projects with my partner, I'm also producing a horror short. Am I taking on too much? Possibly. But that’s what I do. I have goals. A lot of goals. Besides, the man I was dating has to move for work and the practicality of a multi-continent relationship for 3 years is grim. The additional challenges will help pre-occupy my mind. As comfortable as I am internalizing things and staying in my head-space, there isn’t a better outlet than exercise.  

And while I struggle with staying active and staying with a training schedule while building a career, one thing is for sure: While I may not be in marathon shape, I am at my most fit and feel more like my family than I ever now that I am getting (physical) balance and need to be active I never had. 

REBUILDING MY RUNNING BASE - an embarrassing situation

Running. It must be done if one wants to get into MarathonShape. I know I ran in the last three months. Trouble is, I can’t remember my last run. I remember runs I’ve been on, but narrowing down a specific date eludes me.

I have fond memories of running my marathon- the crazy ones where I was running by San Diego’s Wild Animal Park with low blood sugar, and spectators wearing animal masks passed out Icees. I hit the mile shortly after that at mile 20 and remember my mom riding a bike as close to the course that was allowable. And, while hitting The Wall was not fun (why should it be, it’s call “The Wall” for a reason), getting in a shape where I can run 26.2 miles is still a goal. Trouble is, it’s not as big as it was directly after surgery. Directly after surgery I needed to be normal. I was chasing health while running away from the hospital, from the ICU and the deep fear that I was sick, the brain tumor would be part of my life forever. Perhaps, it will be. But, the further I get away from surgery, the less important running 26.2 miles is. 

I am chasing other goals… Chasing developing several TV shows, chasing the full Bronze that will lead to Newcomer Silver in Ballroom… chasing writing goals. And, while I chase these, I know running is necessary. It is necessary so I can have a long and healthy life so I can continue doing things I love. It’s also necessary for my soul. Running has given so much and I found a love for those long runs (even the short ones) with friends. It’s a great way to get out there and explore your city. And, you can’t do much exploring if you can’t run. So, I’m running. For now, not to get back into MarathonShape, but to get back my cardiovascular shape. To get back to where 10 miles feels good. And, to get back to that, I have to start slowly.

It’s embarrassing. I’ve run 10 miles. What the F is wrong with me!? I remember when I first

started running and had no experience. I thought I had to get out there and kill it each time. That is far from the truth. When I joined a running group, my perception started to shift. I had been pushing myself to run 3 miles a day. Now, on my first long run with them, I was regulated to run 1.5 miles. ONE POINT FIVE.  And on that day, while I waited for my then boyfriend, I met the man that would soon be my coach. He took me back to square one and a slow build. Yes, the slow build was the right way… even if it is torture for the ego.

I am back to square one. It is torture for the ego. I know when I was at my peak, I could run 3 miles in about 33 minutes. With time being a precious commodity now, on yesterday’s run, I didn’t want to go out and run 3 miles. I gave myself 30 minutes. Somehow, this was easier. For better or worse, I would get miles in while not sacrificing time from freelancing. In that time, I ran 2.33. From my fitness history, it’s not great, but this is start. More importantly, I got out for a run. By this time next week, I want to run 2.5 miles in 30 minutes, and then keep building. Each week I will reevaluate and figure out how to push myself. Getting out for 30 minutes is not daunting with all the tasks I have to do. It makes it easier for me to wrap my head around running again. It has become necessary for me to build back like I've never run before. It’s a little embarrassing, but that's the truth...

LA Marathon 2013

The Marathon-

It’s 26.2 miles of unknown. No matter how many marathons you’ve done, there is no way of knowing what will happen during your race miles. A pebble inside your shoe at mile 5 or another runner cuts you off, tripping you… and then, there’s the WALL. It’s out there looming for most runners. People run the marathon for all kinds of reasons— for charity, because it has been burning in their soul, to beat their last race time.  I want to do another race, and just need to set aside the time to train, but I feel like my brain surgery and recovery took up so much time, now that I’m not putting all my energy into healing, I’m doing all those other things I couldn’t do while healing.

I still enjoy those long runs, even if I’m not logging 20 miles on Saturday. The long runs vary and for the most part have been done with my running buddy.  For all the years I’ve known him he has vehemently opposed the test of 26.2 miles.  Yet, on March 17, I found myself cheering him on for his first marathon.

 

A friend at work strong armed him into signing up and since we’ve logged so many miles together had so much smack talk and has been like a brother, I decided to organize a relay team to pass him of like a baton between the miles. I knew ego would forbid him from dropping out, but a relay team that essentially has him on a leash would be an even bigger barrier and keep him company through the solitude of the miles and help push him through the wall when his body gets cold and achy.

We started the relay around mile 9 and it continued until our last relay team sent him through the shoots and to his finish. It’s too soon to goad him into another race, and it’s too soon for me to contemplate a race, but the race is out there on the horizon… My next race just might be side by side with a friend rather than in the solitude.

Half Marathon Minus 11 Weeks

Gosh. When you talk about having a half marathon on February 19, it seems so far away. There are so many things to get through, Christmas, New Year’s, Martin Luther King Jr Day, Super Bowl Sunday, Valentine’s Day.  There are friends, work, and countless pet projects. THERE ARE ALSO 11 WEEKS UNTIL I LINE MY TOES UP TO THE START LINE of the Rock n Roll Pasadena Half Marathon.

I cannot find the name of the project and/or artist, but this
was on the website Close

I got a cold that put me on the sidelines last week (also known as Week One of my training). Now, I am a week behind. I don’t even have a cool story of why I stopped or why I got sick. I simply got sick. While frustrating, it’s easier and almost a badge of honor to say, “well, I was training so hard, my immune system became depleted” or “I was training so hard, I needed some rest” Anything is better than saying, “I got one of those holiday bugs because my body recognized it was okay to relax.” NO. It’s not time to relax IT’S TIME TO GET BUSY WITH TRAINING.

Now, there are other obligations that interfere with being a diligent runner like holiday parties and like travel to San Diego for my next MRI. Sure, one can do a half marathon with minimal training, but I need to finish and I need to finish strong for my own ego.  I cannot have a repeat of October.  I have been advised not to chase a PR and just have fun with the journey. As I’ve seen with friends and one running buddy in particular, he did not chase a PR, he simply had fun with training, got bad sleep the week before the race and still managed to knock 10 minutes off of his half marathon! Pretty impressive. While I likely won’t use his training paradigm, it is a good reminder to just get out there and run. I’m a little competitive and am secretly (or not so secretly) chasing that PR.

This week marks 11 weeks until race day. I’m going to pretend like I ran last week and do what I can with the schedule considered that I have the holidays pulling me in a million directions. Despite the frustration of being waylaid by all this, I am eternally grateful that I am here to be enjoying the festivities and that I can enjoy them as much as possible.  Until Friday, I am resting in the confidence that as my neuro-specialist says, “there’s a lot of room for (residual tumor) growth.”