Running. It
must be done if one wants to get into MarathonShape. I know I ran in the last
three months. Trouble is, I can’t remember my last run. I remember runs I’ve
been on, but narrowing down a specific date eludes me.
I have fond
memories of running my marathon- the crazy ones where I was running by San
Diego’s Wild Animal Park with low blood sugar, and spectators wearing animal
masks passed out Icees. I hit the mile shortly after that at mile 20 and
remember my mom riding a bike as close to the course that was allowable. And,
while hitting The Wall was not fun (why should it be, it’s call “The Wall” for
a reason), getting in a shape where I can run 26.2 miles is still a goal.
Trouble is, it’s not as big as it was directly after surgery. Directly after
surgery I needed to be normal. I was chasing health while running away from the
hospital, from the ICU and the deep fear that I was sick, the brain tumor would
be part of my life forever. Perhaps, it will be. But, the further I get away
from surgery, the less important running 26.2 miles is. 
I am chasing
other goals… Chasing developing several TV shows, chasing the full Bronze that
will lead to Newcomer Silver in Ballroom… chasing writing goals. And, while I
chase these, I know running is necessary. It is necessary so I can have a long
and healthy life so I can continue doing things I love. It’s also necessary for
my soul. Running has given so much and I found a love for those long runs (even
the short ones) with friends. It’s a great way to get out there and explore
your city. And, you can’t do much exploring if you can’t run. So, I’m running.
For now, not to get back into MarathonShape, but to get back my cardiovascular
shape. To get back to where 10 miles feels good. And, to get back to that, I
have to start slowly. It’s embarrassing. I’ve run 10 miles. What the F is wrong with me!? I remember when I first
started running and had no experience. I thought I had to get out there and kill it each time. That is far from the truth. When I joined a running group, my perception started to shift. I had been pushing myself to run 3 miles a day. Now, on my first long run with them, I was regulated to run 1.5 miles. ONE POINT FIVE. And on that day, while I waited for my then boyfriend, I met the man that would soon be my coach. He took me back to square one and a slow build. Yes, the slow build was the right way… even if it is torture for the ego.
I am back to
square one. It is torture for the ego. I know when I was at my peak, I could
run 3 miles in about 33 minutes. With time being a precious commodity now, on
yesterday’s run, I didn’t want to go out and run 3 miles. I gave myself 30
minutes. Somehow, this was easier. For better or worse, I would get miles in
while not sacrificing time from freelancing. In that time, I ran 2.33. From my
fitness history, it’s not great, but this is start. More importantly, I got out
for a run. By this time next week, I want to run 2.5 miles in 30 minutes, and
then keep building. Each week I will reevaluate and figure out how to push
myself. Getting out for 30 minutes is not daunting with all the tasks I have to
do. It makes it easier for me to wrap my head around running again. It has
become necessary for me to build back like I've never run before. It’s a little
embarrassing, but that's the truth...
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