Reflections on Completing 1st Post-Brain Surgery Marathon

I did it! I did my first marathon post brain surgery, second marathon in my lifetime. With any endurance race, friends and fellow runners always ask, “when’s the next one?” Simple truth is: I don’t know. Marathon running takes a heck a lot out of you. You have to sacrifice time with friends. You have to build in time to sleep. And, learning what macro nutrients are ideal for this kind of mileage is like having a full-time job. Then there is the injury. Some can make it through a marathon without injury. I could not.

I did the best I could with the unique training schedule that was a result of working 60-70 hours a week during the first 8 weeks of my training when I should have been working 40 and laying a strong foundation. Fortunately, these hours as a project manager overseeing a 70 person company move and the completion of a new building also meant I was often walking 5-7 miles daily. Still, I could not escape injury.

When running a marathon, you constantly have to check in with your body. Is that a pebble in my shoe? Am I engaging my abs? Are my muscles tired or did I injure something? Unlike my first marathon, I don’t feel like I hit the wall… or if I did I just knew I had to keep going because you can’t stop running a marathon just because you’re tired.

At mile 17 my hamstrings started burning. There was a short line to get your legs sprayed down with something icy. I pulled over. Man, did it feel good. From mile 17 to 26.2 there were two more stops, three sprays in all. I probably could have skipped the last two, but mentally, it helped keep me going.

What I didn't realize during the race was that I hurt my left hip. When the hot walker (so named for their job and not for looks) collected me after I got my medal and took me around to gather food and gear check, I was sore. Legs, abs, arms all ached. These types of discomfort are expected after you run 26.2 miles. I kept walking. Found my family. Found my friends. I was stiff. Kept stretching. I couldn’t make my left hip feel okay. The next day, I had the same problem. Where the femur joins the ball socket of my hip felt bruised. An ultra marathoner friend told me to stretch, foam roll, and worst of all— take two weeks off— From everything! No running. No dancing. Not even weight lifting. I was only permitted to do slow short walks.  This was maddening. I knew I would go stir crazy.

And, while I was encouraged to be inactive, there was a convergence of life experiences that accelerated weight gain. 

I met someone.

While training, I joined a dating site.  On January 24, I was matched with a wordsmith. Because of the training and sleep regimen I was holding myself to, I told him we’d have to wait until March 20^th for a date. He was okay with waiting. Even though we only had text conversations, the cadence of speech, grammar and punctuation of Mr. January 24 was something to behold for this Writing Major’s heart. I wanted to give him Saturday, March 25.

Two weeks after our first date I did a four-mile run while Mr. January worked out with his trainer. We had a couple more dates like this, I do a short distance while he works out. I felt so good each time my foot fell on the dirt track and my arms pumped to give myself more speed.

And then somewhere in there, I got out of the habit of running.

We’d go out to eat. I stay up too late to hit the gym early in the morning. It was a perfect storm to create disgrace and self-loathing.

Injury = take a break from training (of any kind)

No race on the books = complacency 

Dating = happy love weight 

It was a trifecta that gnaws at your stomach and whispers in your ear, "you're going to be fat and slow forever." I have been annoyed, every time I get 8 pounds away from my ideal weight, my body holds steady, adjusts and then I gain the weight back. 

I signed up for the Pasadena half marathon in January 2018. I put a new training schedule on my fridge. Friends started to remind me about a fall race I said I wanted to do. I rejoined BodySpace. And while I was making these small but important Modifications, I called my gym to cancel my personal trainer... I had passed the year contract commitment. I could cancel, but I would have thirty days to use my training sessions I had in my cache. I had 57 30 min sessions. And, we decided twice a week to reduce these quickly. I asked for an hour each time to reduce my girth. Done. Now, I have to be at the gym at least twice.

The first training session with new trainer was rough but manageable. For my second encounter, I decided to do thirty minutes of running intervals first. I was quite sure I was going to collapse with the kettle bell side lunges or dumbbell step ups. I managed to eke out the workout.

I talked to him about appropriate weight. If I want to build muscle, if 12 reps is too easy, I need a heavier weight. (If we're being honest, I don't want to be too bulky, but I like it when I have more definition... More weight it is!)

I took a rest day; reset my BodySpace calendar restart at an appropriate level. I figure this is the plan I started with. Build the muscles, get used to waking up early, and get used to getting ready at gym. Then, I'll let myself start on the women's 20-39 max weight loss.

I didn't pay close enough attention- today was supposed to be a rest day. I skipped the rest and went for upper body.

I feel great. Feel like it's not hopeless. I also remember that after you have a certain level of fitness, if/when you take time off it feels like you're starting from zero. It feels like zero every time, but your body knows what to do. It's not zero and getting back into desired shape is not impossible. 

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Pre-long Run Morning Museings

Last week I didn't run 10 with a fuel belt or chomps. I still hadn't replaced my belt from when I left it in my rental car. I bought a new one along w new kicks this week. 

The excitement and palpitations I'm feeling when I'm adjusting my belt and filling with water and BCAA is unreal. It draws me back to so many good long runs, what the long run means to me and how endurance running has changed my life. I was tired when the alarm went off. I was tired when I hit snooze. Now, I can't wait to get out there! 

A Long Sunday Run... Double Digits; Finally!

The problem with writing a blog about marathon running while holding down a day job and training is that the two activities give you very little time to write about which you  are blogging. 

After 3 weeks of 60+ hrs of work, Christmas and a cold, I got a 10 mile run in. Ten miles is my favorite weekend distance. Today was not an easy run, but it's in the books! 

L.A. Marathon

Whelp, I did it. I finally singed up for the L.A. Marathon.

I've lived in Los Angels for 14 years and seven of those years I would classify myself as an endurance runner, but I've never run the L.A. Marathon. I've watched the race from home, cheered friends on from the sidelines and even organized a group of bandit runners to pass one friend off like a baton every couple miles while he ran his first marathon.

After my surgery I wrote a bucket list, and on it is "do another endurance race" AND "run the L.A. Marathon." I've done several endurance races since brain surgery, but L.A. Marathon was just too convenient somehow. And, even though I said I wanted to do another marathon because I didn't want to be a one and done marathon runner, the truth of it is, training for a marathon is a giant pain. I do not blame the one and done folks. Your life becomes consumed with training and you have to decline things like cake and build your social life around your training schedule. But the L.A. Marathon is out there; it's on the list. I've crossed some things off because I know they aren't me anymore or even possible, like grow taller, but running the L.A. Marathon is attainable.

More than being attainable, it is more than likely that it will be my last opportunity to do it as an L.A. resident. I feel bad blogging about an imenent move without telling all my friends. Casually commenting, "it will likely be my last opportunity to do a race as an L.A. resident." Moving has been a decision that wasn't easy. But I've started to put the wheels in motion much like training. And, since running a race in the city you live in is more economically sound than buying a plane ticket to fly across the country to run with jet-lag, running the 2017 L.A. Marathon is not only economically sound, it's clinically sound too.

I've gained weight with the new job, lost some muscle and cardio, but I can get it all back and naturally improve. I have 28 weeks to train, starting Monday. My PR is so old, it wasn't even accepted for corral seeding. I'm not training for time (although I'm a competitive person, so even though I say I'm not, training for time my heart is). I'm training for fun. I'll take my camera on the course and take pictures. This will be a fun way to see and say goodbye to the city I've called home for so long.

*If you're reading this and are surprised, let's talk this weekend. I'm sorry our schedules haven't aligned to have a conversation.*

Where's My Motivation?

This was originally intended to be posted March 20, 2016....

I wish I could recreate those moments where it felt so good… Only 5 weeks ago I had conviction. I was exercising daily. I was logging into my various apps, tracking nutrition, water, sleep and exercise. My conviction for improved health hasn’t been that strong since surgery. In 2011, I was just trying to be normal and prove brain surgery and the possible brain cancer wouldn’t keep me down. But this year, everything was different. This time, inspiration and drive was coming from everywhere…. There was the coworker who told me about his Saturday runs in the hills of Griffith Park and what caused the paradigm shift. We talked about simple things, like becoming a better runner is a matter of deciding to get out of bed or to sleep in. Then there are my running friends. They are slightly more competitive with themselves….

So much so that one insists you can't wear a FitBit while working out. You can’t fault her logic because a workout is a workout and the  FitBit is designed to track in your “sedentary” day. Then, there is the crew of people I met by joining Body Space. This is an online community of people on various exercise and nutrition plans working towards their individual health goals. I had all these forces pushing me to be my best and lighting the fire. But, now, finding that happy fire in my belly is impossible. I want to recreate these moments, but I’ve been struggling to get it together. What is wrong with me? All these conversations were happy accidents. Besides, in addition to these big moments, there were probably instances that were so small I didn’t recognize their importance to fire me up at the time. I don’t know how to get it back and trying to recreate these conversations may not yield the same results.

I got two slow miles in again. The cardio hurts like it always does when you restart. But even with my chest burning I pushed through most of the places where I wanted to start walking. And, I loved it. I forgot about the psychological thrill you get when you just go. To my surprise, going didn't seem that bad. It was fun and easier than expected. I need running like eating, I must do it before the day gets out of hand. Running in the morning also makes me more mindful of what I put in my body.

Mayhem on Marathon Monday

The events at the 117^th Boston Marathon will never be forgotten. It didn’t just affect the running community – it affected the world.  A marathon doesn’t only test the spirit of the runner, it tests the spirit and tenacity of their loved ones enduring the months of training to qualify for the Marathon and then training to stay pace and/or set a PR. Marathon Monday was supposed to celebrate all the months of training and support. What happened instead was of unspeakable horror.

Marathon Monday is on Patriot’s Day, which commemorates the battle of Lexington and Concord, (the start of the Revolutionary War). The area around the finish became a war zone and two bombs were detonated shortly before 3PM (EST) and 4 hours after the starting gun went off for the 2013 Boston Marathon. Cheering spectators gathered to cheer on runners.  Many spectators don’t even know a participant – they are there to support. Reports of the number of victims vary, but agree that the numbers are 150+ victims and 3 deaths.

The Boston Athletic Association (BAA) made headlines in the running world last year when they told runners due to extreme heat on Marathon Monday, runners would be able to take a bye and they would be able to run in 2013.  In 2011, the BAA tightened qualifying times and also struck out the 59 second grace period. On Monday evening, rather than celebrating the achievements of the runners, the BAA had to release this statement on their website, “Today is a sad day for the City of Boston, for the running community, and for all those who were here to enjoy the 117th running of the Boston Marathon. What was intended to be a day of joy and celebration quickly became a day in which running a marathon was of little importance.”

And as I cheered on friends from 3,000 while tracking them on my cell, a friend called to tell me about the blast. We had several friends running, and we knew one of our dear girlfriends was projecting to finish around 4 hours. Our hearts were in our throats. We knew she would be close to the finish & we knew her husband would be waiting for.  We quickly scrambled to find information. All of their friends were panicked, and with cell phone service around Boston suspended, we relied on social media. And while we prayed fervently for their safety and the safety of others, reports of critical injuries and death swept across the news outlets.  Soon, we had news: Hubby and runner wife had been reunited. They were at the ER— Hubby was in the blast. He has a shrapnel wound and received several stitches. I could not imagine the extreme panic running towards danger and then not knowing where your loved one is. I know the two of the will continue their endurance running. Other running friends have said they will not let this change their love of the sport. Still others I’ve spoken with want to take up racing to prove that this act of terror will not get the American people down and that something as pure as the marathon will endure.  The Boston Marathon is still on my life’s to do list and while it can’t be my first marathon back from surgery- the need to run from Hopkinton to Copley Square in Boston has been reignited. I stand with other runners and the world to pray for peace and pray for the families of the victims. Many are not as lucky as my friend with the shrapnel wound.

Personal Worst

There is nothing better to kick-start your drive to really buckle down to stick to a training program like going to watch an endurance race.

On the weekend of October 12, 2012, I took a redeye home to Connecticut to see my brother-in-law kick butt running his first marathon at the Hartford ING Marathon. His calmness before a major race was amazing, and I believe it is due in large part from his experience running track for a Division 1 college. Navigating some of the logistics of any big race held us up & my sister and I caught clothes as he stripped while he slowly sprinted to the start. (Mind you he can do a sub 7:00mi and my sister and I feel good if we do an 11:30.) He got to the start & ended up having to jump into the 4hr coral, which was a full hour slower than where he should have been.

My sister & I, along with my niece (in the jogging stroller) sprinted to the 5k start. The gun time was the same time as the marathon gun and despite it being less than a block away, by the time we got there, there was not a runner in sight. We were so late the volunteers were already rolling up the starting mat. They were kind enough to plug it back in so we could have the official chip time. There is nothing more demoralizing than starting a race and having to stop to ask for directions. Well, there’s almost nothing. It become more demoralizing when fast people showed up. Now, we really felt like we had gone off course. We kept going & finally found an officer that told us, “Yes, the half marathon and 5k briefly share the same course.” We continued slowly, with some trepidation until we saw another “runner.” Well, she really wasn’t expending that much energy while going up the hill.  My sister leaned over and said, “let’s pass her.” So, she, I, and baby scurried up the hill. When we continued past the crest, we saw more 5kers. We weren’t going fast, but we pushed forward. My sister and I never wanted to walk a race and we never wanted to finish last; it looked like at least finishing last was a possibility.

We continued to maneuver through walkers. Our guts were a little upset, but we bypassed the porta-potties. (For me, in larger part this could have been a result of my travel problems and the accompanied stress eating and feeding my mostly-vegetarian body turkey sandwiches.) We were slow, but we didn’t want a worse time.  Our end almost came when we saw a Dunkin’ Donuts and actually discussed how great a coffee and donut would be on this 47* day. We concluded that would just be giving up too easily. We finally stopped at some porta-potties that were literally in the path of the race course. We did our slow turtle run to the finish, passing walkers, cell talkers and texters. It wasn’t a great race, in fact, she and I each dubbed it as our Personal Worst. Somehow, despite our bad start, walking a little, and our extra-long stop at a porta-poty (somebody had to wait with the baby) we passed and beat 87 people! 

 

We had time to get back to the finish to go cheer on her husband who finished his first marathon in just over 3:19, despite cramping up at mile 22. From the leg cramps he got, it’s a miracle he was able to still do so well. It’s still too early to know if he’s going to do another marathon just yet, but from talking with him after I am reminded again why I fell in love with the sport of endurance running. Despite the fatigue and pain (and wall), reconnecting with the race makes me want to stop giving myself outs for running and "Just Do It."

A Bump in Training

Last week was a particularly difficult week. During my lunch break, I would go out to my car to take a nap.(Somehow the 8-9, sometimes 10 hours a night I was sleeping wasn’t enough.) When I got home from work, I had all I could do to cook and eat dinner before I’d collapse in a lump on my couch. This is far from what is on my running schedule.

I knew coming back after surgery would be difficult, especially when my surgeon said, “you’ll either have the dexterity of a one-year-old or 3 weeks after surgery you can do 10% of what you used to do.” I figured while I’d probably make everyone around me miserable, I could get through “having the dexterity of a one-year-old.” The idea of being able to only do 10% of my normal activity was frustrating. Since I was doing 20 miles a week, the 10% resulted in two miles a week!

Once I was discharged from the hospital and feeling better after my surgery, I dug through my running archives and pulled out my first training schedule- the one that was taking me from non-runner to a marathoner. It was a 33-week program designed specifically for me by my running coach.  After my first meeting with my coach and running a couple miles with him, he combined his know-how with a modified Hal Higdon program to develop this schedule for me. The schedule got me through my first 3 5ks, 2 half marathons, and one marathon. I figured, I did it once, I can do it again; and my muscle memory will help get me there.

The marathon is by far too industrious for me to do at this time given working over eight hours a day at a desk tuckers me out. On the road to running a marathon, my first goal is to run a half marathon. But this blog is about getting in shape to run a marathon. From my experience, you need to be in two types of shape to run a marathon: physical shape to keep your cardiovascular and muscular systems in check to keep you going through those 26.2 miles and then the mental shape to keep you plugging away when you want to quit once you hit the wall and/or you’re feeling a little fatigued.  At this time, I do not have either. The half marathon will be a good way to get me back into the corrals and closer to be in the physical and psychological shape that you need to be in to run a marathon.

I have realized that since work is my own long run, I need to modify my schedule yet again. I will focus on day on day off running… concentrating on abdominal strength and moderate lifting when I’m not running. (I still need to be judicious with my choice of exercises since my neck was cut into during surgery and it doesn’t have the same strength it did, and I’ve found even girly pushups hurts it.)

While not the ideal way to train, the surgery has essentially given me a clean slate to see what different types of training will do. I had resisted abdominal and core training earlier since being those muscles were neglected, the exercises were difficult, but I know these are essential to keeping you going through the longer miles. A strong core will also protect your body on the whole. Prior to my December surgery, my goal was to run a half marathon in October 2011 in a sports bra and pants. This goal is too soon given my circumstances for my original plan of an October race. Concentrating on the core and arms is essential for any runner.