Reflections on Completing 1st Post-Brain Surgery Marathon

I did it! I did my first marathon post brain surgery, second marathon in my lifetime. With any endurance race, friends and fellow runners always ask, “when’s the next one?” Simple truth is: I don’t know. Marathon running takes a heck a lot out of you. You have to sacrifice time with friends. You have to build in time to sleep. And, learning what macro nutrients are ideal for this kind of mileage is like having a full-time job. Then there is the injury. Some can make it through a marathon without injury. I could not.

I did the best I could with the unique training schedule that was a result of working 60-70 hours a week during the first 8 weeks of my training when I should have been working 40 and laying a strong foundation. Fortunately, these hours as a project manager overseeing a 70 person company move and the completion of a new building also meant I was often walking 5-7 miles daily. Still, I could not escape injury.

When running a marathon, you constantly have to check in with your body. Is that a pebble in my shoe? Am I engaging my abs? Are my muscles tired or did I injure something? Unlike my first marathon, I don’t feel like I hit the wall… or if I did I just knew I had to keep going because you can’t stop running a marathon just because you’re tired.

At mile 17 my hamstrings started burning. There was a short line to get your legs sprayed down with something icy. I pulled over. Man, did it feel good. From mile 17 to 26.2 there were two more stops, three sprays in all. I probably could have skipped the last two, but mentally, it helped keep me going.

What I didn't realize during the race was that I hurt my left hip. When the hot walker (so named for their job and not for looks) collected me after I got my medal and took me around to gather food and gear check, I was sore. Legs, abs, arms all ached. These types of discomfort are expected after you run 26.2 miles. I kept walking. Found my family. Found my friends. I was stiff. Kept stretching. I couldn’t make my left hip feel okay. The next day, I had the same problem. Where the femur joins the ball socket of my hip felt bruised. An ultra marathoner friend told me to stretch, foam roll, and worst of all— take two weeks off— From everything! No running. No dancing. Not even weight lifting. I was only permitted to do slow short walks.  This was maddening. I knew I would go stir crazy.

And, while I was encouraged to be inactive, there was a convergence of life experiences that accelerated weight gain. 

I met someone.

While training, I joined a dating site.  On January 24, I was matched with a wordsmith. Because of the training and sleep regimen I was holding myself to, I told him we’d have to wait until March 20^th for a date. He was okay with waiting. Even though we only had text conversations, the cadence of speech, grammar and punctuation of Mr. January 24 was something to behold for this Writing Major’s heart. I wanted to give him Saturday, March 25.

Two weeks after our first date I did a four-mile run while Mr. January worked out with his trainer. We had a couple more dates like this, I do a short distance while he works out. I felt so good each time my foot fell on the dirt track and my arms pumped to give myself more speed.

And then somewhere in there, I got out of the habit of running.

We’d go out to eat. I stay up too late to hit the gym early in the morning. It was a perfect storm to create disgrace and self-loathing.

Injury = take a break from training (of any kind)

No race on the books = complacency 

Dating = happy love weight 

It was a trifecta that gnaws at your stomach and whispers in your ear, "you're going to be fat and slow forever." I have been annoyed, every time I get 8 pounds away from my ideal weight, my body holds steady, adjusts and then I gain the weight back. 

I signed up for the Pasadena half marathon in January 2018. I put a new training schedule on my fridge. Friends started to remind me about a fall race I said I wanted to do. I rejoined BodySpace. And while I was making these small but important Modifications, I called my gym to cancel my personal trainer... I had passed the year contract commitment. I could cancel, but I would have thirty days to use my training sessions I had in my cache. I had 57 30 min sessions. And, we decided twice a week to reduce these quickly. I asked for an hour each time to reduce my girth. Done. Now, I have to be at the gym at least twice.

The first training session with new trainer was rough but manageable. For my second encounter, I decided to do thirty minutes of running intervals first. I was quite sure I was going to collapse with the kettle bell side lunges or dumbbell step ups. I managed to eke out the workout.

I talked to him about appropriate weight. If I want to build muscle, if 12 reps is too easy, I need a heavier weight. (If we're being honest, I don't want to be too bulky, but I like it when I have more definition... More weight it is!)

I took a rest day; reset my BodySpace calendar restart at an appropriate level. I figure this is the plan I started with. Build the muscles, get used to waking up early, and get used to getting ready at gym. Then, I'll let myself start on the women's 20-39 max weight loss.

I didn't pay close enough attention- today was supposed to be a rest day. I skipped the rest and went for upper body.

I feel great. Feel like it's not hopeless. I also remember that after you have a certain level of fitness, if/when you take time off it feels like you're starting from zero. It feels like zero every time, but your body knows what to do. It's not zero and getting back into desired shape is not impossible. 

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Rough Runs .... Make Us Stronger

Man, this run was rough. REALLY rough. Last week's 3 miles wasn't easy, but it wasn't rough. This one jut plain hurt. It was more than the hills, my legs didn't want to cooperate. Portions that were suppose to be easy were so difficult, I couldn't even slow my running pace. I had to walk. I don't want to walk on a training RUN.

I was demoralized.

What do I have up my sleeve for next week? Add on to weekly mileage and hill repeats in Mount Lee on Saturday. I'm also doing something this race- I'm weight training and cross-training. I had started weight training in the winter to build strength and definition. Finally, after months of prodding from friends "what's your next race," I found this one. There are easier halves for sure, but I kind of like

doing something that scares me a little bit. 

It was so rough, I was running 100-200 yards before I had to walk 50 yards. Bleh.

I'm better this. 

Well, I wanted to be better than this. Not every run can be great and I've had my share of rough runs, but man. This was not fun. I want to get back to where 10 miles feels great.  These training runs can't keep feeling like this. 

In training, you don't want to increase your weekly mileage more than 10%. But, at some point, often early in your training, you're going to have to make more than a 10% leap. That was going to be this week. It was my goal to run 4 miles... jumping a mile from last week's 3. A 10% jump would put me at 3.3 miles. I ran 3.5 with a 3/4 mile cool down. (The cool down was up a quarter mile from last week to compensate for my shortcoming.) I also rationalized that .5 is .2 more than a 10% jump, so really I was doing okay.

Part of me is wondering how I'm going to accomplish the 5,000 feet elevation gain in my trail half this November. The course looks a little something like this:

The other part of me, the wArrior part tells the worrier to simmer down. I'm 25 pounds lighter than I was at my college heaviest. I might not have the cardio stamina after my first marathon, by I'm the fittest I've ever been. Hell, I SURVIVED BRAIN SURGERY (and recovered so well because of running)! Logically, I know I can do this. There are 5.5 months to train and prepare. And, on days like this Saturday, on the slow days, I'm becoming better at reading a trail... looking out for potential hazards and learning how to move my feet. (Yes, you can't do a fancy road race shuffle/grape vine thing to dodge objects). FOCUS ON CORE. Core strength and solid low arms  (where I don't scrunch my shoulders) will help get me through the 13.1 miles. "Running on tired legs is good," I remind myself. "You'll certainly be tired by the end of any race.... and this race in particular."

At this point, I'm not training for time; I'm training to finish. (Looking at the history of this particular trail half, most finish times are north of 3 hours.)

I did get an ego boost when I was half way done with my run and turned around to go back to my car. Running was easier because I was running DOWN HILL! That flat I was running on was not flat at all. It had a grade that was slight and un-forgiving. Then I remembered; I was running in Reseda. I was on the portion of the road that would take me to the Nike Missile site. One of the many Nike Ajax projects that was defense during the Cold War. This particular location contained ground-based radar that was designed to detect and track hostile aircraft, and to guide the anti-aircraft missiles that would be launched from nearby Sepulveda Basin.. So yeah- If it's high enough to launch missiles, you better believe there are hills.

Granted, the hills I was on had a low grade and weren't as steep as the ones closer to the site. These low hills are nothing like I will face in November, but as mileage and endurance increase, you better believe I'll be taking advantage of the merciless hills on the way to the site and all that The Santa Monica Mountains Conversancy, Topanga Park and National Parks offer. 

Competitive Cross Training in the Ballroom

Last week was awesome! I was present in every difficult and easy moment, enjoying it all. It was a state of training, friends, performance and competition.

I love performing. Aside from the several showcases I’ve done since taking up ballroom in January 2013, I haven’t had a scrutinized performance since I did standup comedy in 2008. 

The Emerald Ball Competition is one of the biggest ballroom competitions in the country. Preparing for it was a physical challenge and I knew it would be a big mental challenge. Big challenges call for big guns. I broke out the CD my hypnotherapist, Brennan Smith, made for me in 2008 to have a first successful comedy set. I mentally adjusted the comedy-specific suggestions to a ballroom competition. I had one last listen before driving to the South Bay to spend the night with running friends so I could sleep in until 4:30am for my 6:15am hair and makeup appointment.

All the comp prep was similar to race prep. Friends. Food/Fuel. Bed (at a reasonable time). Like usual, I set several alarms and triple checked them, convinced something would go wrong. I changed only one thing: I put my own sheets on the bed, so the ballroom-dark spray tan I was rocking wouldn’t come off on their sheets. I woke up several times in the night (like normal), convinced it was 4:30am and I had to go get my hair and makeup done.  All of a sudden, I heard an alarm that wasn’t mine.

Holy smokes!

Thank goodness, the husband is the kind of guy that wants to walk a lady to her car. He set an alarm so he could wake up and escort me out.

I prep as quickly as I can.

I forgot I brought breakfast and went out to find food.

Foraging for food at 5am is not an easy task, and if you’ve stayed away from fast food for years, you’ll be very disappointed. I eventually found something and modified it enough, (asking for no bacon and throwing out the bread) and made something reasonably palatable. More importantly, there was coffee.

Hair and makeup was going to be at LeNique, the dancewear shop where I (and so many dancers) get their dresses. It was so early, there was even parking by the Culver City Steps, which never happens. I was breathing easy. Jim (my coach)and I were going to meet at 8:30 and my first heat wasn’t until 11. Endurance racing mentality wins out again. Biggest difference. You need hair and makeup for a ballroom dance performance.

The hair and makeup Snow Urbin gave me was spectacular. I rarely feel super girly, but Snow made me feel the most girly I’ve ever felt. The amazing thing is she did it all in an hour.

I changed into my dress so that way I could jump out of my car and run into the ballroom. I met Jim, my instructor and the other dancer who was competing. 

The ballroom was not intimidating. I had been there before, last year supporting friends.

Besides, I like preforming. It’s easier than standup. And, it’s certainly easier than walking from your hospital room to a gurney to get wheeled to brain surgery.

My heats came up. Pre-Bronze Rhumba, Swing, Salsa... quickly followed by Newcomer Rhumba, Swing, Salsa. There were other styles peppered in, so it gave me time to relax and work on dance combinations. The bonus is my ankles didn’t get tired because I’m dancing in heals that are .5” taller than what I normally do.

I ultimately finished with two 2nds in Pre-Bronze Rhumba and Swing. A 1^st in Pre-Bronze Salsa.  And, firsts across the board for Newcomer Rhumba, Swing and Salsa. 

I was happy with how I did, but naturally, I want to do better. There’s always room for improvement, with everything. I like chasing that next P.R. (in whatever it may be).  So while working to get in marathon shape, I’m now working towards being able to do more styles without my ankles giving out while really getting my arms and hips to move.

I took Wednesday off, and resumed workouts on Thursday. Friday became my long run day since I had plans with a friend Saturday morning.

 How else does one cap off a week of being one of their most girly? A little boxing and kickboxing at LAKO. Between the weight training and running I’ve been doing for the past month, I didn’t die. And, the bonus is that the ballroom dance adds a great element of stability and hip action.  I was so excited, I tweeted out that I felt like Paige VanZant. As of this post, Paige is a UFC fighter and on this seasons Dancing With the Stars. I was excited to have this commonality with a supreme athlete. I didn’t expect her to respond.

Yes, it was a good week. Now, to jump back into a training schedule and add hills so I can have a successful trail half marathon this fall. I feel like more and more I’m stepping into my athletic prime.

Back In It

I'm officially back in the game.

After struggling to make a commitment to myself and my over-all health, I've reached the point everyone reaches in training. It's the point where training becomes nonnegotiable. I'm not waiting for the mood to strike me or find time to train; I'm training.

The two weeks of lumbering out of bed to go run or lift weights has paid off. It could be the decreasing numbers on the scale or the tone I'm seeing. It might be the trail half marathon (with 5,000 feet of elevation gain) that I'm terrified to sign up for, but my friends keep telling me I can do. It might be my first dance competition on Tuesday or other personal (secret) goals I've set for myself. Whatever it is, I'll take it. I couldn't recreate the feelings from December that set me on the first path to health, but this one is so strong, I don't see it going away.

I'm excited to see/feel my strong legs carry me over the miles and on the dance floor. I like seeing the waist creep back in and feel the extra fabric on my dress that wasn't there when I purchased it. I have new goals set and a new mission.

Today while my marathon brain wanted to do my typical "Saturday Long Run," the logical dancer side of me pipped in and said, "Slow down. Don't tire out those leg muscles for the sake of mileage." And, so, I walked a brisk two miles and will remain focused on my immediate goal of the dance competition. I'll continue to stretch out to keep muscles limber while doing other exercises to work on form and patterns.

 Apparently, while getting back into Marathon Shape, I've become a dancer. The other night, while celebrating a friend and her new career path, she told people I was a competitive ballroom dancer!

CONFRONTING TRAINING SCHEDULES, HEALTH QUESTIONS AND DEPRESSION...

Just before my head is about to sink below the surface and I’m going to drown in frustration and self-pity for all the setbacks I’ve had, whispers of encouragement come from so many places. Last Saturday, I stayed in the Valley and ran with friends since the 405 was closed. (This closure was dubbed as Carmageddon.) The pace felt blistering fast, but when it was over, it was about an hour. It’s slightly slower than what I was running at prior to surgery, but I know without friends at my side, I may not have been able to push myself to accomplish this. (A 5-mile run in under an hour was my secret goal.) So I came close to meeting my secret goal. And I accomplished what was on my training schedule which includes weights and running. 

This week I’m continuing the weigh lifting, but I’m increasing my mileage.  (Yay!) One area that has been sorely neglected has been my neck.  Legs and cardiovascular are a given and for long-distance running, core is a smart thing to build up, but I had neglected my neck. It had bothered me during long runs, but exercising the neck is just so, well, boring. It didn’t really hit home until I was doing a push-up using a stability ball and after a set my neck bothered me. So here I am, training for an ultra-relay (190 miles)  and half-marathons and I have to worry about my neck. (This does make sense since my surgeon in essence filleted my neck to get to my cerebellum to resecet that darn tumor.)   So, I’ve committed myself to doing these lame exercises in addition to my normal long-distance training.

Not too far after surgery, a running friend who also goes to Bible study with me recommended that I read IN THE PIT WITH A LION ON A SNOWY DAY.  I never made it to the bookstore to buy it, but with my recent iPhone purchase, I downloaded it to the Kindle app so I could retrieve this book. Without turning a marathon training blog into a book report, the author, (Mark Batterson), raises a good point, “He (God) is always using past experiences to prepare us for future opportunities.”  So far, I highly recommend the book. Moreover, this idea slapped me in the face to just take what I’ve viewed as setbacks to my life and to training and let those experiences be my springboard to something else. 


This week, like all weeks for people on a training schedule, will be a challenge to balance with work, and friends, while increasing mileage and/or speed. It's not just the ultra-marathon relay or the charity half-marathon the following month, the training is about getting to each race and crossing each finish line at my personal best. 

Friends Make the Best Jetpacks

The summer wind blew back a friend that moved away in 2007. We’ve been friends since college- doing a lot of the same TV production co-curriculars and ultimately migrating to Los Angeles. During school, we faced similar challenges and our move to Los Angeles was no different. We struggled to stay sane, to find a religious community, and ultimately to find work.  She’s always been one step ahead of me in many aspects… She found the church first and took me along- and that became my place of worship for many years. She kept me sane and when I was struggling to make rent she sat me down and dealt me the harsh truth… “I know you don’t want to, but you should consider getting a job in retail to get you by.”  I applied for and got a position to help open a new Linens N Things that ultimately carried me to my next position at Paramount.

Like all my friends, this one bares a great light and love and wisdom.  In 2008, she ran her first marathon.  Her courage to complete the 26.2-mile journey gave me the courage to listen to the voice within me that had been yelling for years, “I want to run a marathon.” A day after, she crossed the finish line of the San Diego Rock n Roll Marathon, I signed up for my first marathon – The San Diego Rock n Roll Marathon.

She is now challenging herself in a different way- with a new exercise program. She looks terrific. It’s more than just the way her shape is transforming, her spirit has transformed as well. Again, she gives me the insight to step into who I am deigned o be. Over lunch, we talked about food and challenges that it has, especially with portions when you eat out. While I had started down this road on my own, the uncertainty of my cranial future has put me into a foul mood, and I felt like, “why bother eat right and exercise when I have to do this whole recovery thing again.”

I have been neglecting every training schedule I looked at and every running article I read. At the most, I've been running 10 miles a week. This past week, I had slowly started my accent from this low, looking hard at my future races and production schedule and designing a new workout routine incorporating weights and running, and ultimately doing mid-week runs in the hills. But this visit with an old friend was like strapping a jetpack to me.

 

All the doctors credited my long-distance running as why I “bounced back” so quickly. Despite my frustration of only walking a little over a mile on Christmas, that was 10 days after surgery, and when there was the possibility, I could have “the dexterity of a 1-year-old,” I am now thankful for that one mile.

I know that getting into the shape I want to be in will be a mental and physical challenge, but as I’ve told myself before, “if it were easy, everyone would do it.” I can create the life and health I want. Even though I know I will be having surgery in the next couple years, I can design my recovery now. Simply looking at it as staying in shape to have the optimum recovery is a little bleak. BUT, if I can incorporate races and other physical challenges, staying in shape won’t have this dark cloud lurking over it.

Shortly after surgery, when it was clear I was going to be okay, my running buddy goaded me into signing up for a 187 mile relay with 10 of our other friends. This challenge is what made me train off-and-on, but in eleven weeks, I will be running a Ragnar Relay. It's time to get serious. 

A Bump in Training

Last week was a particularly difficult week. During my lunch break, I would go out to my car to take a nap.(Somehow the 8-9, sometimes 10 hours a night I was sleeping wasn’t enough.) When I got home from work, I had all I could do to cook and eat dinner before I’d collapse in a lump on my couch. This is far from what is on my running schedule.

I knew coming back after surgery would be difficult, especially when my surgeon said, “you’ll either have the dexterity of a one-year-old or 3 weeks after surgery you can do 10% of what you used to do.” I figured while I’d probably make everyone around me miserable, I could get through “having the dexterity of a one-year-old.” The idea of being able to only do 10% of my normal activity was frustrating. Since I was doing 20 miles a week, the 10% resulted in two miles a week!

Once I was discharged from the hospital and feeling better after my surgery, I dug through my running archives and pulled out my first training schedule- the one that was taking me from non-runner to a marathoner. It was a 33-week program designed specifically for me by my running coach.  After my first meeting with my coach and running a couple miles with him, he combined his know-how with a modified Hal Higdon program to develop this schedule for me. The schedule got me through my first 3 5ks, 2 half marathons, and one marathon. I figured, I did it once, I can do it again; and my muscle memory will help get me there.

The marathon is by far too industrious for me to do at this time given working over eight hours a day at a desk tuckers me out. On the road to running a marathon, my first goal is to run a half marathon. But this blog is about getting in shape to run a marathon. From my experience, you need to be in two types of shape to run a marathon: physical shape to keep your cardiovascular and muscular systems in check to keep you going through those 26.2 miles and then the mental shape to keep you plugging away when you want to quit once you hit the wall and/or you’re feeling a little fatigued.  At this time, I do not have either. The half marathon will be a good way to get me back into the corrals and closer to be in the physical and psychological shape that you need to be in to run a marathon.

I have realized that since work is my own long run, I need to modify my schedule yet again. I will focus on day on day off running… concentrating on abdominal strength and moderate lifting when I’m not running. (I still need to be judicious with my choice of exercises since my neck was cut into during surgery and it doesn’t have the same strength it did, and I’ve found even girly pushups hurts it.)

While not the ideal way to train, the surgery has essentially given me a clean slate to see what different types of training will do. I had resisted abdominal and core training earlier since being those muscles were neglected, the exercises were difficult, but I know these are essential to keeping you going through the longer miles. A strong core will also protect your body on the whole. Prior to my December surgery, my goal was to run a half marathon in October 2011 in a sports bra and pants. This goal is too soon given my circumstances for my original plan of an October race. Concentrating on the core and arms is essential for any runner.