Rough Runs .... Make Us Stronger

Man, this run was rough. REALLY rough. Last week's 3 miles wasn't easy, but it wasn't rough. This one jut plain hurt. It was more than the hills, my legs didn't want to cooperate. Portions that were suppose to be easy were so difficult, I couldn't even slow my running pace. I had to walk. I don't want to walk on a training RUN.

I was demoralized.

What do I have up my sleeve for next week? Add on to weekly mileage and hill repeats in Mount Lee on Saturday. I'm also doing something this race- I'm weight training and cross-training. I had started weight training in the winter to build strength and definition. Finally, after months of prodding from friends "what's your next race," I found this one. There are easier halves for sure, but I kind of like

doing something that scares me a little bit. 

It was so rough, I was running 100-200 yards before I had to walk 50 yards. Bleh.

I'm better this. 

Well, I wanted to be better than this. Not every run can be great and I've had my share of rough runs, but man. This was not fun. I want to get back to where 10 miles feels great.  These training runs can't keep feeling like this. 

In training, you don't want to increase your weekly mileage more than 10%. But, at some point, often early in your training, you're going to have to make more than a 10% leap. That was going to be this week. It was my goal to run 4 miles... jumping a mile from last week's 3. A 10% jump would put me at 3.3 miles. I ran 3.5 with a 3/4 mile cool down. (The cool down was up a quarter mile from last week to compensate for my shortcoming.) I also rationalized that .5 is .2 more than a 10% jump, so really I was doing okay.

Part of me is wondering how I'm going to accomplish the 5,000 feet elevation gain in my trail half this November. The course looks a little something like this:

The other part of me, the wArrior part tells the worrier to simmer down. I'm 25 pounds lighter than I was at my college heaviest. I might not have the cardio stamina after my first marathon, by I'm the fittest I've ever been. Hell, I SURVIVED BRAIN SURGERY (and recovered so well because of running)! Logically, I know I can do this. There are 5.5 months to train and prepare. And, on days like this Saturday, on the slow days, I'm becoming better at reading a trail... looking out for potential hazards and learning how to move my feet. (Yes, you can't do a fancy road race shuffle/grape vine thing to dodge objects). FOCUS ON CORE. Core strength and solid low arms  (where I don't scrunch my shoulders) will help get me through the 13.1 miles. "Running on tired legs is good," I remind myself. "You'll certainly be tired by the end of any race.... and this race in particular."

At this point, I'm not training for time; I'm training to finish. (Looking at the history of this particular trail half, most finish times are north of 3 hours.)

I did get an ego boost when I was half way done with my run and turned around to go back to my car. Running was easier because I was running DOWN HILL! That flat I was running on was not flat at all. It had a grade that was slight and un-forgiving. Then I remembered; I was running in Reseda. I was on the portion of the road that would take me to the Nike Missile site. One of the many Nike Ajax projects that was defense during the Cold War. This particular location contained ground-based radar that was designed to detect and track hostile aircraft, and to guide the anti-aircraft missiles that would be launched from nearby Sepulveda Basin.. So yeah- If it's high enough to launch missiles, you better believe there are hills.

Granted, the hills I was on had a low grade and weren't as steep as the ones closer to the site. These low hills are nothing like I will face in November, but as mileage and endurance increase, you better believe I'll be taking advantage of the merciless hills on the way to the site and all that The Santa Monica Mountains Conversancy, Topanga Park and National Parks offer. 

Ups & Downs of Endurance Running

Foothills of Mt. Lee.

The last couple weeks has been filled with ups and downs, but that is t normal with endurance running.  There are ups where you have a great run and you feel like you can go for miles and miles at a pace you had no idea you could run. And, when you’re down, they feel really down. You feel like you can barely complete this run and the pace is much slower than you’d like.  It’s after one of these down days that it’s difficult to get out for a run the following day. You’re convinced the run is going to be as terrible as your last run.

With the new flu strain being as aggressive as ever and working in the standard office Petri dish, I’ve been more anxious than normal about germs. (The anxiety is actually a result of my time spent in the ICU in 2010.) In the early parts of the month, I was stocking up on sleep. My need not to get the flu was an excuse to stay in bed. Last week, I looked at my kitchen calendar and I realized that my next half marathon was less than a month away. I wasn’t running consistently so I wasn’t accustomed to running on tired legs and I have little base. What I do have is the knowledge that I can run a half marathon and now that I have the taste of quitting in my mouth from my crash and burn from Long Beach half marathon in 2011, signing up and not completing a half is something I don’t want to repeat. I was a little concerned because my longest run in months is 6 miles. That’s less than half the distance and that 6 is no match for the hills of Pasadena!

I was running pretty consistently for the week of January 20^th. I was feeling the high, especially after bonding with a friend over their sudden interest in running. A down came when I had to get to the office early and I slept in too much to get the run in I wanted. I nearly bagged it, but I threw on my running apparel & set out the door. I got in just over a mile, which included 3 hill repeats on a gentle hill. (And, doing just a little over a mile turned out to be an up.)  Looking at my kitchen calendar, I realized that I was not only going to have to be creative with the training, I was going to have to be aggressive.  With all my other halves, I had time to taper. With this one, I was going to have to train through, meaning each weekend long run would increase from 7 (this past weekend), to 8 following, 9 the week after that and then I have my half (13.1 miles)! Most training plans suggest that you increase your weekly mileage at 10%. It has been pointed out to me at some point if you don’t run and then start running, you are increasing your weekly mileage by more than 10%, so using that theory, while it may not be sound, I’m going for broke and going from 10 miles a week to 15 or more. 

Topographical Map of Pasadena-
The closer the lines get the more hilly
it becomes.

Watching the Rose Parade, one might think that Pasadena is flat. It’s not.  It’s chock full of hills, which is one reason why I’ve been doing hill repeats even if they are on gentle hills. My big training run was filled with ups and downs. This weekend, I hit the Burbank Reservoir, in the foothills of Mt. Lee for my aggressive training.  I parked my car. Hopped out and after a half mile of virtually flat packed dirt, the hills descended in front of me like a giant monolith. If I were driving, I wouldn’t take a standard shift car, but this is why I chose this area. I ran one hill and then some neighborhoods. Then, it was off to do hill repeats. My GPS watch tells me that the hill I picked was half-mile long. On my second ascent, I already made friends. On my third trip, I had a cheering section and my hip flexors were very sore. By the time I was on my fourth my water was nearly empty and my new friends were gone. I still had more miles to cover but knew I wouldn’t be able to keep going if I ran out of water. I descended the hill and found some flatter h area. I pushed to make sure I could get my 7, with only a mouthful of water when I got back. I promptly downed the extra water I had in my truck, vowing I would plan better for next weekend’s run. This week was nearly a 20% increase from the first week in January, but with 3 weeks remaining before my race, I need more hills and more miles if my ego is going to be able to tackle what lies ahead of me on February 17. 

Friends Say The Darndest Things

Getting back on a training schedule remains difficult. I am past the point of excitement training for my first marathon and past the need to prove that the brain tumor has not altered my life. What remains is the phantom love of endurance running. The difficult journey is getting back to that and just laying down those first weeks of slow painful miles. My running will not improve if I don’t attack it with the same intense desire as I did when I started long distance running years ago. Soon, I won’t have a choice.

Distractions and excuses for not logging miles abound. My lack of focus on running continued when my mom came out for a recent MRI, and ended shortly after. On the way home from my MRI in San Diego, I took my mom to a friends’ housewarming. Besides showing us their wonderful first home. The husband convinced me it was a good idea to invest in the Tour Pass for the Rock n Roll Race Series for 2013. Yes, for one price, I can run as many marathons, half marathons & 5ks that are associated with the Rock n Roll Race Series.  Quick math tells you this is a good idea because entry fee for each race is nearly $100 and with four races being 300 miles or less from Los Angles, it’s money well spent. Besides the interest of cardiovascular health, nothing is a great motivator like spending money on a race. I’ve already dropped out of one race due to lack of training; I don’t intend to do it again.

Before committing to the Pass, I should have taken stock in who was advising me of the benefits of unlimited races. My friend is not just a hobbiest…. He and his wife are running a half marathon a month for 2012 and they are discussing doing 13 half marathons (13.1 miles) for 2013. I should have realized his sound advice could be problematic. But, taking a step back, it no more insane than just deciding to run a marathon. To many, setting out to run for fun already boarders on crazy, so I guess weather his advice was sound or not is a mute point since I may be a little crazy myself for loving long distance running and harboring the need to get back to running 20+ miles a week. Next stop- Pasadena Half Marathon in February, with a possible January half in Arizona thrown in.

AN UNCONVENTIONAL SIDEBAR
My doctor was so pleased with my December 2011 MRI, he postponed my follow up to June and then he had to move me to September. (All this is quite a delight since in August 2011, my case was brought up for consult to the tumor board for more surgery.) We were cautiously optimistic about the September 2012 MRI, but we were not expecting the results we got. Without the benefit of big Pharma, the residual tumor that was a worry is gone! My MRI looks like God went in with a Dust Buster and cleaned that sucker up.  Now that the tumor is gone, my doctor is more adamant to track my food. I had been keeping a traditional food journal, but that was proving depressing and I felt too much like a lab rat. BUT, I have been keeping a journal on my iPhone through MyFitnessPal, which feels more trendy and less cumbersome. Recently learned to export my food and exercise journal I keep on to a document I can convert to a PDF and give to him every 3 months.

The Need For Sleep Peppered With Other Things...

The following was originally intended to be edited & posted by May 31, but work and life being what they are, here I am a week later revising and posting…

I am being better about sleep. It is still emotionally difficult not being able to function so effortlessly on less than 8 hours of sleep than I used to. While there is frustration that I’m “losing” hours to be productive, the surgery has not only required me to sleep more, the lack of tumor has enabled me to sleep. The other side effect in the new paradigm of more sleep is that the dynamic of friendships has shifted.  I know I cannot short my sleep and I have loving friends that remind me to sleep. Others still do not understand that even though I am 1.5 years post surgery, my body can no longer withstand consecutive days of 6-7 hours of sleep. Believe me, given my druthers, I’d rather be out creating or running or doing something… ANYTHING other than sleeping.

Sleep though, is necessary. It’s not just me who requires it because of surgery; it’s necessary for everyone. Sleep keeps cortisol levels down to assist with weight loss & if one wants assistance with this OR to train for a marathon or other race, muscles require sleep to repair themselves. If I’m going to be able to set a PR, my muscles must function at their best. For longevity, I must make sure that I maintain the instrument of my body if I want to run and/or continue with all my passions. That said, I’ve been able to start & stick to my training schedule. After have several false starts to my training, I have realized that for this particular go-round of training, I need to look at it on a two-week basis. Two weeks allows me to re-evaluate my success and failure. This is good on two-fold (no-pun intended), the production calendar for the show (JUDGE JOE BROWN) is every two weeks, meaning, one of those weeks, I have to be at work early because we’re taping and getting my run in will be difficult…. The other is because a more flexible training schedule will allow me to ease up or push myself more. I have the basic schedule laid out, but having the leniency is something my soul needs for the 2012 Hartford ING Half-Marathon.

While I have the half-marathon in October and various physical challenges I want to undertake this year, the need to run and lose weight also has a touch of vanity. 1. Swimsuit season. I’m probably one of the only California girls that HATES the beach, but when most of your friends love it and are beach ready, it behooves one to at least work to be comfortable, even if you’re not going to wear a string bikini. The 2^nd and for me more fun reason is Emmys. Yes, JUDGE JOE BROWN the show I am an Associate Producer for has been nominated for a daytime Emmy.  This means Emmy after party where a nice dress is required.  Pictures of the dress will follow. Pictures of me in a swimsuit will not!

Surviving my 6th Half Marathon

Early Morning @ The Beginning of
the Inaugural Rock n Roll Pasadena
Half Marathon, February 19, 2012

Pick your saying- I can put another notch in my lipstick cases… punch another hole in my belt… or I can simply say that I successfully completed my 6^th half marathon. It feels good, except when it didn’t. From mile 10 on, I hurt. I’ve had more painful races, like mile 11 in Malibu where it was downhill or Long Beach 2011 where I got a DNF (did not finish), and my ego was severely bruised. My first race back after surgery was painful, but pride wouldn’t let me stop. I didn’t get the time I wanted here, but I did better than what I thought I would do. I told everyone I wanted a sub 3-hour race but secretly harbored a need for something closer to 2:45:00 (which is my typical time for hilly races).  I ended up earning a 2:46:07.

Despite being a race in Pasadena, CA the course wasn’t too hilly. Of course it had hills as most races do, but this race could have been more grueling as is characteristic of other races in Pasadena. Maybe, I was better trained for it, maybe the unexpected mental prep I had from running with the Pasadena Pacers several years ago along some of the same streets continued to serve me.  Several days after the race, I am experiencing that runner’s remorse and high. Remorse for not pushing myself more and the high of lemme do it again- I know I can go faster.

As I’m writing this, I know I am and have committed another error in training- I haven’t done my “shakeout run.” I know my muscles would be cranky during this, but it is something you just need to push through after a race (or any long run). I’ve been focusing on sleep.  Am I sleeping enough? NO, there is no time and why should I sleep when I have stories to write or friends to see and an apartment to organize. But, the difficulty of needing to do everything now is normal and my friends who have had brain surgery experience a similar insatiable need to do it all now. This is a whole other story and apparently will plague me for years to come.

The Much Debated Taper

I’m wading through that grey area of the taper.  My 7^th half-marathon (the Inaugural Rock n Roll Pasadena Half Marathon) is mere days away. There are several schools of thought out on this, and with each runner you speak with, you can get a different answer of the best way to enter into a half marathon. I’ve had races where I do a two week taper, and others where I just train through… meaning I do 10 miles the week before my half, then the half, then do 10 miles the following week, then 15 the week after that. Nothing is perfect. Nothing is correct. Even when you’re on a training schedule life comes up and sometimes it’s difficult to stay on schedule. I haven’t met a single runner who hasn’t had to repeat a week or adjust their schedule because life threw them a curve. I’m told that one can gut through 13.1, but as my half in October showed, gutting through a half marathon to potentially risk injury, is something I’m not prepared to do. While humbling, by repeating weeks, you’ve likely amassed enough weekly mileage to successful complete a half-marathon and be able to walk the next day.

Still requiring more sleep than I am prepared to admit, I have pushed myself during the week and on Saturdays, that I crash on Sunday. This week has been no exception. This work week, I’m sleeping and sleeping.  (Meaning I’m sleeping past 6 so I don’t have time to get my run in.) I’m not thrilled, but apparently, my body has decided to throw the training schedule out the window to stock up on the necessary sleep. Besides logging the necessary miles, nutrition and sleep are the other two important commodities that one needs to have a successful race. With the excitement of the race, sleep the day before does not come easily, so this is stocking up on pre-race sleep is important. One must remember that while balancing sleep, you need to keep running. The distance of daily runs is less and again there is debate on how much running one should do before a race. I have friends that continue to cross-train before a race and others that just do one little run the day prior to a race.

No two races are the same, even if they’re the same course… there’s always a different amount of training and/or nutrition before lining your toes up to the start.  While I haven’t stayed on my training schedule day for day, I’ve managed to log about 20 miles a week and added cross-training in. (This is something I didn’t do with my previous training schedules.) My longest run was 9 miles. (The shortest training distance I had prior to a half.) While it may not be pretty, I know I can gut through the next 4.1.  My priorities have shifted. I know I will not PR on this race, but I know one day that I can re-focus on setting a PR. This race is my first race that I have after my promotion, and while I’m not using the promotion as an excuse, it changed training. Everyone has something that throws a monkey-wrench into training- snow, a new baby, new house, health scare… Nothing is perfect and we cannot hold ourselves up to Dean Karnazes or Kara Goucher and expect to be the same. We can only do our best with the talents that we’ve been given and with the time we have.  

It's Just Like Riding a Bike

Sports have never been my forte. Even the simplest childhood activities were difficult.  I always marveled at my baby sister who would careen around the yard on her bike with mud splattering up her back when she would ride through puddles. Our parents pleaded with her to stop ruining her clothes. It was only then that she started riding her bicycle in a swimsuit. When weather would turn to snow, we would ride our bikes in the barn. For someone who already had difficulty turning her bike, the proposition of turning a bike in the 10 foot wide aisle contending with obstacles of hay, wheelbarrows, dogs and a sister, it seemed insurmountable. I’m not sure if I was ever able to deftly maneuver around all this without stopping, standing and pivoting the bike below me.

The Midnight Ridazz at one of their night-time cycling events.

Several years ago, I purchased a bike. It's nothing fancy, just  a regular bike from Target. Despite my best efforts to pedal and stay erect, it seemed that whoever came up with the adage “It’s just like riding a bike” should be shot.  Riding a bike as an adult is not as easy as it was when I was a child, and considering I had a very difficult time all those years ago, my frustration only continued to grow each time I would take my bike out. I had spent some time looking for the optimal size bike and settled on a children’s bicycle. I considered ways to make it easier, like getting the brakes reversed so I would be able to use my left hand on my back brake. (Apparently, getting brakes reversed is a benefit of growing up in a small town because the bike shops in Los Angeles refused and went as far to say that changing the brakes to do this in the states is illegal.)  Once I had the bike and made my peace with having to brake with my right hand, combining pedal movement, forward momentum and staying upright was tough…. I would wake up early on the weekends and take my bike out before the cars started revving their engines and the roads would be filled with the din of LA traffic. Each time I took my bike out, I would get marginally better… but only marginally. That is, until today.

Tour de France map.

Still lacking in confidence to ride with the big kids down the road, I peddled up and down the dead-end road by my apartment. Bigger than lacking confidence, I lacked something else, that two-inch brain tumor. You world be surprised how much easier bike riding is without this thing getting in the way, misshaping my brain and causing it to swell. The only thing swelling now is my ego. The speed was slow. The distance covered was not vast. I have now realized that stories kids come up with while riding or phrases they tell themselves like “crisis averted” come from near misses with bushes or luxury cars.  Today was a step and each time I take the bike out, it will get easier and easier.  As the laps increased my grip on the brake loosened.  I’m not in a hurry to get out there and commute to work on my bike, but the idea of one day being able to ride several miles with friends just ‘cause will become as easy as running 10 miles with friends. Both of these are far away right now… after looking at all the Hal Higdon half marathon training schedules, it seems that the best one would be with cross-training built in. This program will not only get me to my next half marathon, it will turn me into a cyclist. I don’t expect to join the local club the Midnight Ridazz, but adding one more thing into what I can do is pretty exciting.

I never thought I would look at several laps on a dead-end road as anything remarkable, but on today, on my first bike ride since brain surgery, it is a huge victory.

Sharing Brain Tumor Guilt

I visited to my old office yesterday. I did not anticipate the deep need to reconnect with friends and old coworkers and their need to reconnect with me. I arrived at 1 o’clock and left after 7 pm. During my time there we talked about life, running and current creative projects. I met new people who knew my story. I had learned that one good friend there (who is also a running buddy) was instrumental in getting a prayer group organized while I was in the hospital last year.  One fellow he introduced me to is interested in running a half-marathon. We encouraged him to run the Inaugural Rock n Roll Pasadena Half-Marathon. Then my friend caught me off guard when he said, “Sarah is a miracle. Look what she can do and she had a brain tumor. If she can push forward, you can do this too.” I’ve joked over the past months with friends about having a brain tumor and that they can't say they can't do something if I can do that activity with a brain tumor or post surgery.  Most recently, I quipped at one friend (who was lamenting she signed up for the Malibu half marathon and didn't realize it had so many hills) "You have to do it. If I can do it with a two-inch brain tumor, you can do it." Yesterday showed me that my tumor and story are apparently are large enough for friends to share and guilt people they meet into achieving their best.  While I want to inspire and help people reach into their souls and dig down to find what they can do, I did not expect the ripple effect this would have on my friends…  them pointing to me a benchmark for what success and drive can be… what is possible with the power of prayer and grim determination.

The grim determination got me through a lot- it’s why I was adamant to get physical therapy multiple times a day once I was stable enough to have it, and it’s why I needed to get out and run as soon as I did. The half-marathon 6 months post-op was a need. The attempted half in October was an epic failure, but a good lesson. I have been running for fun and getting better about making it a priority and shifting workouts to get them in before a long day of work. I did some research for a new running friend and found a training program for her. After joking around last Saturday and telling her she better get on it and train to do the Pasadena Half Marathon with the running group this February, I realized HOLY SMOKES THE HALF MARATHON IS 12 WEEKS AWAY! While my paradigm has been continually shifting, I must shift it again. I have to stop running for the sake of running and letting heat/cold/time (name the excuse) get the best of me, and I need to TRAIN. The program I found is not too different than what I had laid out for myself, but it’s from running guru HAL HIGDON.  That said, the Sunday after Thanksgiving is exactly 12 weeks from the half-marathon I have already committed to. I want to have the best experience possible while pushing myself physically and mentally. The question of the next marathon still lurks in the distance, but getting to a marathon as in life, I have learned, is about a series of successes and setbacks- it’s all about how you handle them and push forward.