Reflections on Completing 1st Post-Brain Surgery Marathon

I did it! I did my first marathon post brain surgery, second marathon in my lifetime. With any endurance race, friends and fellow runners always ask, “when’s the next one?” Simple truth is: I don’t know. Marathon running takes a heck a lot out of you. You have to sacrifice time with friends. You have to build in time to sleep. And, learning what macro nutrients are ideal for this kind of mileage is like having a full-time job. Then there is the injury. Some can make it through a marathon without injury. I could not.

I did the best I could with the unique training schedule that was a result of working 60-70 hours a week during the first 8 weeks of my training when I should have been working 40 and laying a strong foundation. Fortunately, these hours as a project manager overseeing a 70 person company move and the completion of a new building also meant I was often walking 5-7 miles daily. Still, I could not escape injury.

When running a marathon, you constantly have to check in with your body. Is that a pebble in my shoe? Am I engaging my abs? Are my muscles tired or did I injure something? Unlike my first marathon, I don’t feel like I hit the wall… or if I did I just knew I had to keep going because you can’t stop running a marathon just because you’re tired.

At mile 17 my hamstrings started burning. There was a short line to get your legs sprayed down with something icy. I pulled over. Man, did it feel good. From mile 17 to 26.2 there were two more stops, three sprays in all. I probably could have skipped the last two, but mentally, it helped keep me going.

What I didn't realize during the race was that I hurt my left hip. When the hot walker (so named for their job and not for looks) collected me after I got my medal and took me around to gather food and gear check, I was sore. Legs, abs, arms all ached. These types of discomfort are expected after you run 26.2 miles. I kept walking. Found my family. Found my friends. I was stiff. Kept stretching. I couldn’t make my left hip feel okay. The next day, I had the same problem. Where the femur joins the ball socket of my hip felt bruised. An ultra marathoner friend told me to stretch, foam roll, and worst of all— take two weeks off— From everything! No running. No dancing. Not even weight lifting. I was only permitted to do slow short walks.  This was maddening. I knew I would go stir crazy.

And, while I was encouraged to be inactive, there was a convergence of life experiences that accelerated weight gain. 

I met someone.

While training, I joined a dating site.  On January 24, I was matched with a wordsmith. Because of the training and sleep regimen I was holding myself to, I told him we’d have to wait until March 20^th for a date. He was okay with waiting. Even though we only had text conversations, the cadence of speech, grammar and punctuation of Mr. January 24 was something to behold for this Writing Major’s heart. I wanted to give him Saturday, March 25.

Two weeks after our first date I did a four-mile run while Mr. January worked out with his trainer. We had a couple more dates like this, I do a short distance while he works out. I felt so good each time my foot fell on the dirt track and my arms pumped to give myself more speed.

And then somewhere in there, I got out of the habit of running.

We’d go out to eat. I stay up too late to hit the gym early in the morning. It was a perfect storm to create disgrace and self-loathing.

Injury = take a break from training (of any kind)

No race on the books = complacency 

Dating = happy love weight 

It was a trifecta that gnaws at your stomach and whispers in your ear, "you're going to be fat and slow forever." I have been annoyed, every time I get 8 pounds away from my ideal weight, my body holds steady, adjusts and then I gain the weight back. 

I signed up for the Pasadena half marathon in January 2018. I put a new training schedule on my fridge. Friends started to remind me about a fall race I said I wanted to do. I rejoined BodySpace. And while I was making these small but important Modifications, I called my gym to cancel my personal trainer... I had passed the year contract commitment. I could cancel, but I would have thirty days to use my training sessions I had in my cache. I had 57 30 min sessions. And, we decided twice a week to reduce these quickly. I asked for an hour each time to reduce my girth. Done. Now, I have to be at the gym at least twice.

The first training session with new trainer was rough but manageable. For my second encounter, I decided to do thirty minutes of running intervals first. I was quite sure I was going to collapse with the kettle bell side lunges or dumbbell step ups. I managed to eke out the workout.

I talked to him about appropriate weight. If I want to build muscle, if 12 reps is too easy, I need a heavier weight. (If we're being honest, I don't want to be too bulky, but I like it when I have more definition... More weight it is!)

I took a rest day; reset my BodySpace calendar restart at an appropriate level. I figure this is the plan I started with. Build the muscles, get used to waking up early, and get used to getting ready at gym. Then, I'll let myself start on the women's 20-39 max weight loss.

I didn't pay close enough attention- today was supposed to be a rest day. I skipped the rest and went for upper body.

I feel great. Feel like it's not hopeless. I also remember that after you have a certain level of fitness, if/when you take time off it feels like you're starting from zero. It feels like zero every time, but your body knows what to do. It's not zero and getting back into desired shape is not impossible. 

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A Quick Post Recap ... More to come

Ran my second marathon today... Great weather! I've been working like crazy... 60-70 hr weeks when I needed to lay a strong foundation. (Fortunately, I was also walking 4-5 daily at work!) Work tapered to 50 hr weeks. Was hoping to do a sub 7 hr race. Ended up finishing in 5:58:14 (only 10 min off my PR)!

Ran with my old running buddy for first 8 miles or so, which included running past my secondary oncologist's old office and my first apartment... Found parents at mile 12 and found another fried & his 8-year-old daughter on Sunset Strip... Hammies started hurting around 15 and got sprayed down with Icy Hot... Wicked Side cramp at 24, but overall emotionally easiest run ever had.

Thank you all for the cheers and prayers!

It Just Got Real: 03-17-17

Last Push Before Marathon

Last long run before LA Marathon. Encountered Pasadena reverse Tri and this fabulous pine cone.

Always special when friends call you out.... On those days just when you can't push anymore, without saying you need encouragement, they are there reminding you how far you've come and what you're capable of.... 

Long Strange Strip from Zero

Wow! Never in my wildest dreams did I ever expect to hear myself scream, "oh my God, I only have to run 4 miles tomorrow!" What a crazy paradigm shift endurance running has been!

Pasadena- hills. 12 miles. Did something different and followed another route. Thank you World Vision for the path and the messages! Despite negative self talk, God's love was everywhere. By mile 5, I had passed a number of people who cheered me on, this sign and I started thinking, "hey maybe I can train to do that 8min mile that's making its way around FB."

Besides the lovely "Stay Strong" message, when I got to the crest of the hill and I wasn't sure where to go, there was a pictogram of an arrow and a person screaming, "WHEEEEEEEEE."

Calling All Friends For Music

Training and Running is more than just miles... you sometimes want a good tune or two to sing along to... whether you run with music or just ambient sounds....

I have my 2nd marathon in 3 weeks. I have Phl 4:13 and Isaiah 30:40-41... One friend suggested adding Church Camp songs to help me with the rough miles. (Challenge accepted!) The Doors's "Road House Blues" helps with the downhill and "Pharaoh Pharaoh" has a great cadence for flat, but I'm taking suggestions for other songs to add! I need happy and uplifting... No "One Tin Soldier" or anything like that! I'm looking At you...

Charity Running

It's nearing that time in my training... After twenty (20) miles this weekend, the taper starts next week. I'm already getting emotional. I'm feeling prepared and then not quite prepared. And as I go on the L.A. Marathon page, I toggle over to see what charities are participating. Some groups are simply running for a presence and to show solidarity while other charities like will benefit from the people who train and raise money. Whatever the motivation for the team based/charity based running it is all for a good cause. There is certainly time to donate to the team as a whole.

Long Runs Are Great With Friends

The long training runs are so much more enjoyable with friends. On those runs, you scrap the "how's the weather" talk and dig into more interesting conversation. It's extra special when your friends share their favorite running routes with you too!

What a day!!! Four weeks until the LA Marathon... 18 miles on the books. Feeling strong. Thank you Melissa 'Bodily' Erwin for finding the course and joining me for 10... All the cheers near and far (Jac, Krista, Carol... And other good thoughts) and Bill Travers- holy smokes! Your winter training and bossin' Heartbreak Hill in these chilly temps is inspirational! I will not complain about 54 and overcast!

Cupid's Undie Run

Holy moly! What a blessing as I prepare for my LA training run (because I'm insane to do 16-18 miles before a charity run) I woke up to see that I've exceeded my fundraising goal! Thank you all for helping me get there! Johnathan Ruggiero Bill Travers Antony Pretti Amy Cheong Christine AltounianJacques Altounian Sebastian Altounian Paula Lazeski Linnea Bronson Amodio Cary Freeny Laura Crook 💗💗💗 proper thank yous and details to come!!

Running Makes You Hungry

Well, it was an interesting 13 miles. Hungry at mile 7 and a little cold at mile 9.5 (wore off by 11). Need to do something different next week!

Hills and Heat in Pasadena

Finished 16 in Pasadena... Took phone w me for safety and the darn thing says I ran 18 (per step tracker), which could have something to do w fatigue (besides the relentless hills and mid-day temps that were 5* hotter than what was promised.)

Pre-long Run Morning Museings

Last week I didn't run 10 with a fuel belt or chomps. I still hadn't replaced my belt from when I left it in my rental car. I bought a new one along w new kicks this week. 

The excitement and palpitations I'm feeling when I'm adjusting my belt and filling with water and BCAA is unreal. It draws me back to so many good long runs, what the long run means to me and how endurance running has changed my life. I was tired when the alarm went off. I was tired when I hit snooze. Now, I can't wait to get out there! 

A Long Sunday Run... Double Digits; Finally!

The problem with writing a blog about marathon running while holding down a day job and training is that the two activities give you very little time to write about which you  are blogging. 

After 3 weeks of 60+ hrs of work, Christmas and a cold, I got a 10 mile run in. Ten miles is my favorite weekend distance. Today was not an easy run, but it's in the books! 

L.A. Marathon

Whelp, I did it. I finally singed up for the L.A. Marathon.

I've lived in Los Angels for 14 years and seven of those years I would classify myself as an endurance runner, but I've never run the L.A. Marathon. I've watched the race from home, cheered friends on from the sidelines and even organized a group of bandit runners to pass one friend off like a baton every couple miles while he ran his first marathon.

After my surgery I wrote a bucket list, and on it is "do another endurance race" AND "run the L.A. Marathon." I've done several endurance races since brain surgery, but L.A. Marathon was just too convenient somehow. And, even though I said I wanted to do another marathon because I didn't want to be a one and done marathon runner, the truth of it is, training for a marathon is a giant pain. I do not blame the one and done folks. Your life becomes consumed with training and you have to decline things like cake and build your social life around your training schedule. But the L.A. Marathon is out there; it's on the list. I've crossed some things off because I know they aren't me anymore or even possible, like grow taller, but running the L.A. Marathon is attainable.

More than being attainable, it is more than likely that it will be my last opportunity to do it as an L.A. resident. I feel bad blogging about an imenent move without telling all my friends. Casually commenting, "it will likely be my last opportunity to do a race as an L.A. resident." Moving has been a decision that wasn't easy. But I've started to put the wheels in motion much like training. And, since running a race in the city you live in is more economically sound than buying a plane ticket to fly across the country to run with jet-lag, running the 2017 L.A. Marathon is not only economically sound, it's clinically sound too.

I've gained weight with the new job, lost some muscle and cardio, but I can get it all back and naturally improve. I have 28 weeks to train, starting Monday. My PR is so old, it wasn't even accepted for corral seeding. I'm not training for time (although I'm a competitive person, so even though I say I'm not, training for time my heart is). I'm training for fun. I'll take my camera on the course and take pictures. This will be a fun way to see and say goodbye to the city I've called home for so long.

*If you're reading this and are surprised, let's talk this weekend. I'm sorry our schedules haven't aligned to have a conversation.*

Running

YAY! It's not even 7am and I already got my run (and abs) in.

The excitement I have is better than expecting Christmas. I'm flying home soon to see my family. If these early mornings keep up, there'll be even fewer excuses to not run. I have several friends that would advise with all this energy I should do a double workout. I might not want to do another run, but a long walk would be nice!

Recalibration

It's easy to do.... The first couple days you feel “Meh” and then that cookie you could've said no to calls your name.

I got a new job. My daily rhythm is out of sync. In an effort to be optimum at the new job and understanding all the moving parts that go with it, I opted for sleep over the gym. I was feeling slightly lethargic and I could see and feel my body changing. More alarming, I could feel my brain chemistry changing— I didn't and don’t like it. 

Through the first three weeks of the new job I battled.

“Today will be the day I start exercising before work.”

“I am behind on my weekly sleep. If I'm going to understand this thing, I need to get adequate sleep. I can go back to the gym later.”

“I feel crummy. These non-gym in the mornings can’t continue”

“What has happened to my cardiovascular system?  Five miles was getting easy.”

And this is what the last three weeks have looked like. The job consumes all my mental bandwidth. I’ve been too tired or too scared to exercise in the morning. The fear comes from the possibility of not having super-human intellect to grasp all the initiatives, causes and responsibilities that the director I’m working with has.

The evening is out the window because I have other commitments or need to get home, eat and go to bed so I can repeat the slippery slope tomorrow. This slope looks like guilt because exercising before work could either A. physically drained me or B. I wouldn’t be “early” to work.

Silly I know. I cannot stay here any more.

The last three weeks have been filled with me telling myself exercise is necessary. Then guilt and or fear creep in for doing it. Worse, when you repeatedly don’t do it, not doing it starts being easy. Not doing it and making less than good food choices becomes easier. The first week I was counting macronutrients. I haven’t counted a macro in 14 days. It would be easier to not count them; they are a pain.

I like macros. I feel really good when I focus on them. I feel even better when I eat them with a solid exercise program. To be my best self I need both.

Knowing this, I still have frustration with myself. By now, my running schedule had me up to 9 miles for a long run on the weekends with a mid-week run of 7. If all I was doing was training, I could be here. BUT, I live in the real world and am supremely lucky to have a job that I enjoy and challenges me. I have to find a balance. It can’t be helped. With this setback, the inner critic starts wagging it’s finger: “You could be doing better. See, who were you kidding? You are not an athlete. An athlete would not let themselves we waylaid by a new job.”

I have friends that are by the true definition, an “athlete.” They are the ones that qualify for the Boston Marathon. They train to run sub-3 hour marathons. They take a divisional fist when they race. 

They also get injured. They get sick. Something happens and they have to work back from being on the Disabled List. It’s not necessarily the nature of training; it’s the nature of being human.

When the flu or injury subside, they have to start training again. It’s not from the beginning; they have to pick up somewhere in the middle, knowing that the first couple sessions back, maybe even the first couple weeks back won’t be fun.

.

Now, it’s my turn.

I was nearly doing an inclined bench of 30 without effort. Now, 25 is rough.  Who knows what my average running speed looks like.  More alarming than these physical challenges, I do not like that I was able to feel my brain chemistry changing. I don't like it. I need to shift myself back to where I was (again). 

The first week will be rough, like I'm learning to do it all over again. I feel lucky. I work for an MD. Yes, he pushes his staff with work and expectations until they cry uncle or make it clear to him that his expectations are unreasonable. But, while he pushes us to intellectual and organizational capacity, he has told me numerous times "we need you healthy." He gets health. He understands the importance of exercise. Now, that I mostly understand the job and he has made this declaration, exercising before work has become priority (again). It needs to stay there. If not for my birthday goal or for my half marathon goal, at the very least I need to keep up the momentum of exercising for myself. 

Who Needs A Car?

Did I just run 1.2 miles to do a HIIT workout (High Intensity Interval Training) and then run home? You bet I did!

Despite having a rough week managing diet and exercise, these last 3 days have been AMAZING. I love this new route and want to explore more areas along the local greenway known as the Tujunga Wash. I think I can make it all the way to Studio City.

Sharing A Tradition

You feel a lot of things on a run. You literally might waiting for your body to get warm before you can pour on more effort. You could be anxious because you’re getting to that portion of your training course you don’t like. Thoughts may wander or there could be extreme focus on breath, posture and arms. For me, the longer a run gets, the more varied (and sometimes wild) my thoughts become.

Author, Haruki Marakami observed, “The thoughts that occur to me while I’m running are like clouds in the sky. Clouds of all different sizes. They come and they go, while the sky remains the same sky always. The clouds are mere guests in the sky that pass away and vanish, leaving behind the sky.”

And that is what happened when I was on mile 4.25 of a four-mile run that became five miles.

Today was my ideal running weather. Sixty-six, overcast and a light drizzle. My intent was to get out extra early and conquer the hills that ate me alive two weeks ago. But, before I knew it, I was driving to The Encino Golf Course and Recreation Center. I love this place. This is where I overcame my fear of double-digit runs and where I made life-long friends.

In January, I started Gretchen Rubin’s Happiness Project. It’s helped me set tangible monthly goals, with the idea to keep the previous month's goal and add a new goal(s) the next month. Naturally, increasing weekly mileage each month was a goal I set in January. Another theme she tackles is “Try Something New.” With a new commute, I was going to read more, and I was going to achieve this using audio books. When I was at the library, perusing shelves of potential books “Sally Ride: America's First Woman in Space,” leapt out at me. I have no interest in space. 

“Try Something New.”

Being of a child of the 1980’s, of course I knew who she was. She was a hero to my teachers and being contemporary, we were strongly encouraged to do a book report on her. I knew she was the first American woman in space. That’s all I knew. When I picked up the CDI didn’t know what I’d find. I loved the book. And now, I love Sally Ride. I learned a lot of things, among them, she grew up in Encino, California, the very city where I did my first double-digit run. She is far beyond and more important than being the first woman in space.

Fitness and her endurance was quietly woven through the book. Running, was something she did well and it allowed her to do many of the physical things she did, among them, be a nationally ranked tennis player.

When I drove to The Encino Golf Course and Recreation Center I did not have Sally Ride on my mind. I was thinking about my mileage and the connection to friends.

I had four miles on my training schedule. I ran around the man-made lake looking at waterfowl and smiling at runners that passed. Then I turned to the familiar interior loop. I passed the golf clubhouse, the spot where Team and Training meets, through the area where there is exercise equipment and then a left to get the last mile plus done. It is on the backside of that course, along the over-grown area of the L.A. River, I thought of Sally Ride.

My soul started vibrating. I don’t like comparing myself to other people and don’t make a practice of it. I always try to do better than my best or do better than that goal I think I should be doing (even if that goal is realistically several years off). And, while I don’t like comparing myself to other people, in that moment, Sally Ride was on my mind.

She ran this course. I’m working to get back into Marathon Shape and running the same routes that Sally Ride ran! A unique run for sure. I focused on friends, posture, breath and then Sally Ride.

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